How are you doing?

HUGS, to you!

Good for you for moving on!

Lynne

I'm doing okay, but still wish my life would have turned out differently. I hate the choices you have to make sometimes, but on the other hand hate the consequences of not making those choices. I try not to think of things too much and try to remember the bad -that way I won't dwell on the good. Scared of starting over, but tired of things not working out and having him in and out of the house. I am 39 years old and have been with him since I was 17 years old. We were married, divorced and remarried. There were a lot of ups and downs. I wish there had been more ups! I just finally got tired of being stuck and taking care of someone who wasn't taking care of himself or being the husband that I needed him to be. Being married to an alcoholic is probalby one of the hardest things that I have done. Sometimes everything is a blur and you look back and think "Wow, this was really messed up for many years"! It is just sad!

Sorry you have had to go through this. {{{HUGS}}}

Divorce sucks. Just don't be in a rush to jump into another relationship. I jumped and became engaged this January 12th to a man who still loved his ex. Not pretty.

Take your time lady or else you'll end up pissed off and taking anti-depressants. This time, it is for you to build up without thinking of any future entanglements.

I realize that you are probably not doing this but, I'm just adding to a different angle. Don't be me. I suck.

Oh and my ex fiancee is an alcoholic who still loved his ex. Yeah, don't become me. Good luck and be well.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's so difficult to let someone go even if it was really toxic. I'm having a hard time too. I'm finally going out tonight with some girlfriends who are also going through divorce. The best thing is to find someone to talk to who really cares for you and will let you vent. I hope you have a decent weekend. I will be thinking of you.
BB

Thanks everyone!

Kat7070,
The thought of dating kind of scares me. I have been out of that scene for a long time. I'm also scared of meeting the same kind of person. If I give myslef time, maybe I will see things clearly. I just want to meet people to have fun with for now. I really isolated myself to an extent, so I am actually trying to start talking to old friends more. Who knows what could happen?

Tambo, I so understand where you are at. Sounds like we are about the same place. I'm suppose to get my petition for divorce from my atty on Monday. Read my journals and you will see how much I am struggling with my love for him ending. But I have to believe its not a healthy love, but an addictive love. I've been with mine since my teens too. I envy you that you are only 39. I'm 47 and the idea of trying to find someone else when I finally get over him is scary. Be very careful. My counselor says I would be highly suseptible to another alcoholic. That scares the crap out of me. Want to make sure I wait long enough and work on myself enough where I won't repeat myself. It is very common to chose the same type of person over and over and they say that's why most 2-4th marriages fail. I don't plan on ever marrying again but do want a significant other in the future.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Lori47,

I am really scared to start a new relationship in the future. I have a fear of finding someone who is an alcoholic and not recognize the signs. I went back to my STBX MANY times! I know that I need time to myself and I will not be ready for a relationship for a while. I miss having someone to talk to and hang with. I don't want to get emotionally involved with anyone! I have to try and find myself first. I think that if someone tried to get emotionally involved with me right now that I would shut them out.