Your town really is too small! I don't know what to say except I feel for you. Hang in there!

That is my worst fear right now...seeing them together! I don't know what I'd do. I live in a small town too. Keep your chin up, don't let her get you!

Forgive me if I am missing something. You are with your bf and it is all right that he is with your kids, but your stbx isn't allowed to have a gf? Just not clear on how this isn't a double standard.

Stbx IS allowed to have a GF. I just dont like her with my kids. I never said anything about stopping this from happening. It just the way I feel about it. I just dont like it. I think any woman knows what I mean. Nothing personal, you being a man and all, but I just dont know if you get it.

My wife has a bf and I don't like him being with my kids, so I don't think that it is a sex thing. My kids are seventeen and chose not to see the bf, but your kids can be with your bf and that is okay but it is not okay for your ex to have his gf around them? That is not a double standard?

My wife has a bf and I don't like him being with my kids, so I don't think that it is a sex thing. My kids are seventeen and chose not to see the bf, but your kids can be with your bf and that is okay but it is not okay for your ex to have his gf around them? That is not a double standard?

Hi, I have to agree with TSand on his reply. As a mother, I understand your feeling - just remember that you are their mother and they will never replace you - she is just a person that is trying to win them over as part of the relationship with your ex. I hate to break it down to something that simple - but I have been in the same boat.

All Im saying is that I dont mind he has a GF. I know she is probably nice to my kids. I kbnow my BF is around my kids. It doesnt mean I have to like it! Thats all. I just dont like the thought of her playing house in what used to be MY house with MY kids. Thats all. I know its happening and will continue to happen. WIth her or with someone else. Doesnt mean I have to like it. Plust this posts first sentence was...I probably have no right ot complain...

Ok diemjs, sweetie,, you are being a bit hostile and irrational! I can most definitely understand your feelings, please understand that first of all! But,, if you were in a rational state of mind, you would not mind your ex's gf, being friendly with your children because that beats the hell out of the alternative! Would you want her to be mean and abusive to them? You realized from the begininng that your post was a bit double standard, I saw that and I, yes, can understand it! Having ANYONE trying to play mama to my kids drives me nuts!!!! Therefore, I understand but do not agree with your thinking! Is that what you are asking for? LOL
Hugs sweetie,, really though, just be thankful that she is nice to them!

I am thankful that she is nice to them. I really am. I guess I shot off at the mouth before, but it is just a feeling in my gut when she is around my kids. It hurts, thats all! I am fighting a loosing battle and I have to go to work.

I am sorry for sounding hostile and irrational. I truly wasnt trying to be. You all are the most important people to me right now, (except my kids) and I hope you all can forgive me.

I don't think it't hostile OR irrational. It's completely normal to not want anyone other than our kids parents to parent our kids. OM/OW are offensive..no matter what the circumstances are..when it comes to the kids.

My ex left me and the kids. I have every right to have another man in my life..and around the kids. I will. Will he like it???

Hell no...

There is nothing to forgive at all. I see what you are saying and the truth is, when I am hurt as I have been, I don't think kindly or rationally. I have said things that were mean. I also am tempted to get a new woman so I get the benefits of one, so in fact, I might be a bit high and mighty here talking about a double standard. I know that I am not ready for another relationship but that doesn't mean that I don't crave someone to hold and to hold me, someone to share with and to sleep with etc. Please don't think that you did or said anything that is not normal or common to our situation.

My first ex is remarried. Her husband tries to be grampa to my grand kids. I had to talk to him last summer to back off a little. I told him they are my grandkids and the best he is going to be is fake grampa. I just had to do this for myself. I told him that I know that he quits his job whenever child support court catches up with his new job. He dont want to pay his own child support, and I told him that if he wants family to go see his own kids he hasnt seen in years. I told him I will tolerate him but dont cross the line and mess with the grandkids with fake grampa stuff.

Anyway, he is doing what I say.

Then the jerk comes to me because he is afraid that I might have feelings for my first wife because I am divorced now. So, I had to sit him down like a little kid and explain and I convinced him that I could care less about her because she had her chance.

I understand the problem you have. There are too many jerks out there. I usually say what I feel, and if they dont like it, tough.

My kids are my kids, My grandchildren are my grandchildren...PERIOD!

I was always glad when my kid's Dad had a girlfriend who liked my kids. I usually dealt with them better than him. When he crapped on the last one I called her and said "I'm sure you were told I'm a bitch, but my kids like you and I want them to know that they have a right to continue to like you." I told her if she wanted to see them it was fine. She took them out skating and shopping; it made them feel better and pissed him off which was fine with me.