I remember feeling exactly that way, MANY times.

I don't feel that way anymore.

I know how you feel. My H kicked me out to bring his 'girlfriend' in. Denying her all the while...for about 7 months?
I am devistated. I mean, I have been without him for 5 months now. I still cry myself to sleep. I am 50 and don't want to be alone.
Long story short. I do have days when I am find. Today and yesterday, oddly.
Yesterday I looked a 'her' profile pic on FB. Awful. Just Awful! My H has lost weight. He was thin anyway. Has not cut his hair (to his shoulders) and not shaved, and is scragly. He just looks awful.
Now I am not gloating. I say that to say this.....His guilt, stress, and down right dumb assness has caught up to him. No doubt.
I don't know your story. But...I'm sure it will be the case with yours. My mother in law always said that nobody leaves unless there is someone else. Even if all the while they say there isn't anyone else. Then the guilt eats them up...sooner or later. Sooner for my H it seems.
I won't ramble anymore. I just Do feel your fear. I hope it gets better for You and me.

I hope it gets better! For all of us..
I have been going through divorce for 9 months now and a end to it looks to be quite a while off still, we have been married 33 years..
I don't cry hardly ever anymore unless i have to talk about it but I am in a depression.. I don't dream about him at all thanks to xanax at bed time but i will have to quit taking that at sometime and I hope to God the dreams will not come back!
I hope I will be back to 100% soon but I read some people it takes a very long time! I hate that , I want to feel better now in the worst kind of way.. I dont think I will ever be the person I used to be and im not sure id even want to be, I want to be a better , stronger and more independent person.. I dont want to spend my life alone either but I dont think I ever want to be married again..

Your not alone in feeling the way you do. ((it's so hard)) : (

Hugssss

I know it is very hard but I try to put it into perspective of no he can't take a piece of me forever because he doesn't control me.

You were trained. Your neurons were trained You learned to incorporate another human into your life and assimilated yourself into theirs.

Who told you that you should be feeling differently at this point?

This is a process of undoing and each and every one of us is different. Three years after my divorce I can solidly state there is nothing there but an empty shell.

Take your time, be good to yourself...you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. Take a deep breath and look at the nature around you; the plants, trees, flowers...exactly where they should be...doing what they should be doing.

I firmly believe it is better to heal slowly and heal properly. Rushing into a relationship too soon is never a good idea. I do not think 16 months after the end of a long relationship and a marriage is too long!

Ease up on yourself! Be gentle with yourself. Progress not perfection!

agree with Karenhopeful......heal slowly but properly. I miss my husband and cry over him and he is still at home, his body but not his heart. It's hard to let go but you will know when you are ready. You don't have to be the same person, all situations in life just teach us something new. Listen to Iquitnow and come out a stronger and better woman. Stay strong!!

I think it's pretty normal to feel this way. It takes a long time to grieve a loss like this. And we are going to be changed by it. That doesn't mean we will never feel complete and whole again though. Give yourself time. One of the hardest things for me is accepting that some days I'm just going to feel awful. I don't want to feel awful. I want to feel good and happy and peaceful and joyful. And some days I do. I expect to more often in the future. But it takes time.

I didn't read the rest of the responses, sorry if I repeat.

I felt for a while like a piece of me was taken... and therefor gone. What I found after the many months of self exploration is that, that part of me had gone numb. It was still there, just asleep. Over time I realized just how much of my personality had been suppressed.

I'm glad to say that I am fully me again, and despite a big chunk of my income and the ugly legal battle, am happy to be me again.

I agree with Dave, its not lost just sleeping. Once you have been free for a while you will find the parts or yourself that he supressed and "rediscover" yourself, so to speak. Good luck to you!

everything that you are feeling is normal adjustment from a coupled state to a single state.

try to remember yourself before you were in the relationship. you felt whole then. and, when the emotional dust settles, you will feel whole again.

give your heart and mind time to adjust. be nice to them. be patient. and, above all, nurture yourself. your system needs you to be nice to it while it works so hard in the background to emotionally heal.

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. Even after getting close to 2-years since my ex walked out on me & our daughter I still miss him at times, alot of the time. we were together for 20 years and experienced alot together and the women he left me for is well lets just say a complete opposite of me for sure, in values, morals, looks, etc... I am angry with him and hate him but yet I still love him. I was devasted and so depressed for over a year, well even when the divorce was finalized (and Im the one that filed for it), I still was. I sometimes wander what if I had waited a little longer and maybe he would of left her to come back to us, but I couldnt do that, i had to protect my daughter and myself. I am so much stronger now but i still dream about him, and there are times i wish i could feel his arms around me or wake up next to him. But God chooses our paths for a reason tho we may not understand it. Hang in there it does get easier and I NEVER though it would but it has!