if he has rejected your requests to try and reconcile, he is done and probably checked out on your marriage a long time ago.
if so, that was and is on him.
Get some type of counseling for yourself, tested for stds ---(ugly to hear but necessary as he may have a friend), and a lawyer.
you have to put the long term best interests of you kids first, which means you got to stay healthy as best you can to make good decisions with them in mind, don't worry about pc bullshit, divorce will greatly affect your kids, don't blow smoke their way, be age appropriate honest

Thank you. It wasn't infidelity. Well as far as I know. I mean I have lost my appetite and all I want to do is just workout to get my mind off. And yes I agree that my kids come first. I hope I'm as strong as people say I am. Doesn't seem like it now.

I agree with refurb, i would get into therapy to help you get
Your head wrapped around your reality. My trouble with my
Ex started 13 years ago and it kept getting worse If i was a
Sane person i would have left then and gave up on him and
Our marriage which was not really much of a marriage
anymore, at the end it was toxic. Take care of you and
Your children. HUGS

I'm going to a psychologist this week. I am literally dying inside.

I went to divorce care.org, therapist, alanon and any and all supportive loving people. Grieving Your losses Is a long hard pain filled journey. Therapy is a great Beginning, i
cried for 4 months After he left. The heart and soul do not listen well to the brain. I
Still have trouble with that one year post divorce. HUGS

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I've got to say - don't be surprised when you find out that there is someone else. Go for the STD test anyway - just to be safe, and hire a good lawyer. He's not in love with you anymore? Well who is he in love with? I'd bet money that there is someone else, so prepare yourself. Welcome, you have found a good place here and it will get better. It will just take time.

I am just devastated. All I want to do is hold his hand. Does anyone know how to get texts off someone's phone? Ha!

To get texts, if it is your account, with Sprint any way, you have to fill out a form requesting it and have the form notarized. Phone numbers are visible by just going online in account settings. They will talk you through it. Good luck. I am very sorry for your situation. This site is very helpful. HUGS

When my husband of 16 years came to me and told me he didnt love me anymore it sent me into a tailspin. I was devastated. He was not cheating (I checked it out and I know he wasnt) he just had decided he was bored and needed a new life. Please take this time to be kind to yourself. Get as much exercise as possible, eat well and try to get as much sleep as you can. Sleep for me anyway, was a huge thing. I went a year with literally a couple hours every night and it hurt me greatly. And whatever you do do not self medicate with drugs or alcohol. It will only make it worse. Been there bought about a dozen tshirts. I am sorry you have to go thru this but it will get better in time. Hugs and peace to you.

thank you. I really want to believe that.

Hi Mary,

Unfortunately, you are feeling some of the most difficult, bone crushing feelings a human can go through.
There are three things I BEG you to keep in the front of your mind:

1. These horrible feelings are temporary and they will get much better in time.
2. The best way for you to start to feel better right now is to help someone else. It can be anyone and anything. The best way to help yourself is to help someone else. That is not an opinion but a fact.
3. Whatever you give attention to grows. Try to consciously focus on positive things.

I say this in reference to you looking for a way to get texts off a phone. If you allow yourself to get trapped in that mindset it will send you on a downward spiral. Feed the positive and do not get caught in figuring out what happened in the past. Leave the past where it is, behind you, and focus on right now.

This may be easier said than done but it is simple. Simple isn’t always easy though. Being that you will have to deal with the legal side of things and the emotional effect this has on your kids, you need to be sharp and focused. That means there is no room for negativity. It will become easier to do once you practice for a little while.

One great thing you posted is that you are working out to get your mind off it. That is fantastic.
I could write for hours but won’t. Lastly, keep the majority of your attention in the moment. Like you’re in a Yoga class and the teacher is asking everyone to focus on their breathing. That is a way of practicing to be in the moment. Pain,fear, anxiety and all those nasty feelings can not exist when you are in the moment. It is just not possible.

On that note, I hope you feel a little better today than you did yesterday.

Rich

Thank you Rich.

You're very welcome.

How are you feeling today?

Rich

We decided he will not be moving out as for right now. And take it day by day. I just need to try and win his heart back. If not then I am prepared.

That sounds positive and is a step in the right direction no matter what the outcome is.
Have you ever read the book the 4 agreements by don Miguel Ruiz? If not, then it would be worth reading or listening to the audiobook. There is some information in the book that will definitely strike a chord with you.

Rich