I'm very sorry you're feeling so badly. It's ok to lose it, sometimes you just have to scream or cry or punch a pillow and let it out. You do have a lot of crappy things all going on at once. I wish I had some great words of wisdom, or could think of anything that would make you feel better, but there are no words that take away that kind of pain. Just know you are not alone, and there are lots of great people in this group going through the same things. Take a breathe and take care of yourself.

Take some slow deep breaths. Life can always be worse. You are alive and breathing. You can see the wonders of nature. You have feelings. I know it is hard or almost impossible to find things to appreciate in your life, but they are there. Hang in there. All of us have been there. I'm just not there at this moment, might be there tomorrow morning?????

I'm trying to be strong but life has just been so hard lately. And nothing is worst than not having someone there to hug you and tell you it's gonna be all right. I tried to pull on all my faith and my hope as a Christian, well someone who believes in God, not even that has helped, this is more than I can bare

Personally i would get into therapy to
Help guide you. Find out whats really
Going on inside of you.

Sometimes we need to boost our self
Esteem and work on self love and self
Acceptance issues. There are also 12
Step groups available.

You sound like you are ready for that
Life preserver to be thrown. HUGS

I'm worried about infertility because with this partner or any other I CANNOT conceive naturally! Yes, the relationship is not in a good place, hence why I'm here in the group. Just seeking a listening ear and a bit of encouragement, that's all!

You need a therapist.

You're all over the place.

Infertility issues? Sounds like you're miserable with work, miserable with your partner, just about everything.

You need to heal your life. Find a good therapist and get out of that horrible relationship.

Thank you for your opinion!

Sending you a hug take care of yourself.

I totally understand what you are saying about infertility issue as a woman. I was there too 3 years ago when I was getting divorced with no kids close to 35 years of age.
Things do not go the way we plan or want them to go most of time. There are things out of our control. I still don't have any kids and just in a break up process with the second partner of my life. I suggest you to get out, go for a long walk along the beach and look at the beautiful scene in front of your eyes. Cry as much as you want but be sure you will move on.

I hope my words don't make you feel invalidated, but I think a lot of people feel this way in adulthood at some point or another. I am sorry you are experiencing this now and that it is paintful, but I think more people can relate to you than you may think. I feel like this a lot. I don't want to make this post about me, but I can relate to many of the feelings that you are experiencing. They will pass. The best thing you can do is get rid of the one playing mind games. Once that element is gone, the sanity starts to come back. I speak from personal experience( and this is not a mistake I have made once) , so believe me when I say this..because I now am a self proclaimed expert on dating men who plan mind games and drive women crazy. Once you empower yourself to get rid of them. Things being to fall in place. Please email me anytime. You aren't crazy. Your life isn't where you want it. Things can all change for the better.

Good morning Ladybird,
Sorry for all your pain. Its not easy, but you will get through it. You spoke earlier in one post about your faith as a Christian. I am not a religious person, however, i am certain there are many great people in your church that can help. Reach out to your pastor, your priest. they can guide you. You are not alone.... Smile

I just wanted to touch upon the infertility issue. My sister, years ago, was in a relationship with a guy, and she was always miserable. Always complained about the guy, they lived together for years. So what did she do? Went ahead and married him. Still complained. Then, years later, he wanted to start a family. She said that she was on the verge of leaving him, but that having kids might help them. WTF? I was young but that didn't seem right to me. Well, she was wrong. They had 2 children. Having kids does not help a relationship. At all. It works the other way. If you're having problems and issues with your partner, the stress of raising a child only highlights those issues and can serve to drive you further apart. My sister is still with this guy (since she was 19 - she's 62 now) and still complains. Actually, she has told others recently she wishes he were dead. Her kids? They're in their 30s now, slackers working part time crappy jobs, still living at home with mom and dad. She did not lift them up and encourage them on to conquer the world (or get a real job). She likes having them there because I think they are all she really has. She has leaned on her kids, used them as a means to avoid the lonliness in her life and her inability to relate to other people.

Not at all saying this is you, not by any means, just trying to highlight that having kids should happen as a natural occurrance out of a health, loving, stable relationship. There's time for children later- be it with the assistance of medical professionals, adoption, etc, just now doesn't seem to be the time for you.

As others have said, now is the time to focus on you. Counseling might be a great start!