Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I don't usually do this sort of thing but I am lost and destroyed. I have been married for 17 years together total 20 years. I am in a very stressful school program that I started to better us but now I continue I guess to better me. My spouse told me 3 weeks ago they are not in love with me anymore and actually has been having an on-off again relationship with someone for the last 22 years. I'm so blindsided and lost. My spouse says they love me and everytime we are apart they miss me but in the same breath they say they can not fully commit themselves to me to work through this and they will NOT cut ties with the other person.
I sit everyday since wondering what is wrong with me, how could I not see this, what do I do with this information, where do I go? All questions and thoughts that will never be answered but run through my mind. I feel so incredibly alone even with family support I feel so alone. How could I have been so stupid to love someone with my full heart and soul but it was never really real for my spouse.
I am reaching out in this support group but I don't really know what I am looking for. I have by no means been the best spouse. We met in high school and there was all the immaturity, fighting and yes even some infidelity on my part (but it was only 1 meaningless fling after my spouse admitted to multiple flings). How ridiculous am I to even consider fixing this marriage when all this has happened?
Today was the final conversation and when asked if they could give 100% to work on this and move forward it was decided by them that no it can't. I am angry, hurt, lost, confused and so scared. I have been with them for my whole adult life so far how do I learn to be alone. Alone forever. To never find another friend or relationship, they were what I thought was my soulmate my only one in life and now I learn they did not feel the same about me. How is that going to change how I am in any relationship. I just wish I could give up on this and move on without any pain but it is not working.
I don't expect any replies from anyone but thank you for letting me vent, I have had this in my for a while with no one to say it to. Everyone I talk to always ends up talking bad about my spouse but its not what I need right now. I really don't know what I need but I am not so angry with my spouse that I want or need to hear bad things about them. I am more just hurt and alone
Maybe there is still hope that it will work out.
Sometimes people want out but they burn doesn’t look so great after a year or two.
Hope it gets better !
Hugs
The fact that you can vent in this forum -helps.It releases some frustration,anger and pain.Also read other peoples stories- to remember
this is not something that only happens to you-so many others experience
this myself included. My advice is take this time to focus on yourself, treat
yourself well eat healthy ,work out, have a steady routine and push through the
pain,Force yourself to engage in your normal daily routines and such.In life what is meant to be will be. True love isnt just about how we feel- its letting
go sometimes to show that you really do love someone-Unfortunately we
cant force people to be who we want them to be or act how we need them to act.If there is no way to resolve the conflict- it probably has to be
accepted.Take care -remember the most profound relationship is the one that we have with ourselves.Remain true to your-self.Be strong
I too cry daily as I was just notified my ex is getting remarried after a short period of divorce. I realized it was not marriage she disliked it was ME. This hurt and left a hole in my heart which will never be filled. I'm trying to move forward but it is difficult.