I'm very upset I lost all that I wrote. I'm trying not to be mad. I worked so hard on it. It was a mix of stuff. and a kinda welcoming me back (to myself) post.. From where I started last year to where I am now.
Stupid computers. :p

I hate when that happens. I got to where I'll type out my thoughts in an email in google....to myself. It automatically saves every so often so that if you do lose it, you can recover it. OR, if I'm not in google, I might type out my thoughts on a note pad, and copy paste as I'm going ( like every paragraph I grab a copy, keep it on the clip board as I'm going along)..... or I"ve even gone so far as to print out a paragraph at a time. Depending on what it is I'm writing.

i've felt damn near homicidal once or twice having lost a long-winded post that meant a lot. We writers mean business! lol.

That's happened to me before. If it happens again, hit the back arrow on your browser. It reloaded the previous page with the unsaved post. I highlighted it, copied it, hit the refresh button and reloaded the information in the box. When I hit send all was well.

Daily Strength will time you out. You can spend 4 hours typing something on a page, but if you haven't hit the send or back arrow to let the site know you're still there, it thinks you're invactive and left the site. When you're typing in the dialogue box, you're doing this locally on your computer, not directly on their site. Hitting SEND brings you back to their site. I don't know how long the period of inactivity is before the time out. Frustrating but I suppose they do it to keep response times decent.

What I do after I've typed a post or response that is lengthy is to do a copy of the text. That way if I hit send and get logged out, I simply log back in, create a new post or bring up one I'm responding to, and paste my text.

go to your google docs write it out, save it, then copy and paste it here if it disappears you can post it again and again until u get it to stay on here

Thanks everyone. I've so been here/there before. One would think I would learn my lesson. I haven't been here in a while so out of my element so to speak.
Jojored.. Thanks for letting me know that, that's what Daily Strength will do. Cuz I believe now thinking back, that, that is exactly what happened. I couldn't understand why I was logged out. Now I know.
It was a very long day. A couple of days before I had , had a talk with husband finally on whether we were proceeding with legal separation or D. Housing/finances etc... I don't want to be on hold anymore. I know it's only 2 weeks passed my radiation treatments. I;ve had very minimal side effects, and my brain is back at work. - I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but it is anyway :0 -- Yesterday was my therapist day. so I got to tell her all about it. Joy. Husband made an odd comment that I never thought I would hear him say. "We can get you a new place now while we're still married, easier to get a mortgage, and maybe we can find a place that we would both consider living in, in case we decide to get back together after we've been separated for awhile." . Wow.... 6 months ago, that so would have pulled on my heart strings. But he's cut way to many for me to fall for that again. I have a feeling he's thinking more about all the $ he's going to have to dish out'. And yes I've come a very long way in what I guess is a very short time, and he's starting to see me as possibly the woman he liked before and could now maybe make a go at it again. I'm still going to stick with the $ though. and besides, I told him, "I need someone in my life that will want me for me. Not who they want me to be. And I want someone who is actually going to talk to me about how they feel. And someone that can have compassion and be able to empathize with me. And I don't see you being able to do any of that" And I was so proud of myself, I said it with No Fear. (happy dance)
I'm still on disability. He's still going to have to keep paying for me. Financially this is going to totally suck for him.
I've been dealing with the fatigue, and some new not so good personal realizations form childhood, that explains some stuff going on with me currently. So ya, I was tired. and not up to snuff as far as remembering all the little details like SAVE before Enter. -send.

I will admit my heart string was pulled a little. I wouldn't let him see me cry. I had a good conversation with God, and I got myself back on track. Stop crying in my soup. Get it sunk in, No, H and I are not going to work. He would have to make some whopper changes in order for me to even contemplate a reconciliation. And he is just not capable of that right now. and I can't see it in his near future either.
I told him, Good luck trying to find a woman that isn't emotional, and that doesn't want to have emotional connections with you. Your better off looking for a Man.
.
jojored you "may" remember my saga. from last year. My last text back in Sept was of when I came back from Our 17 day out west trip.
I was better than I had been, but I was still a walking mess. (I had moved up from disaster)

I'm still amazed at all that I have managed to get myself through. From rock bottom, wanting to leave the planet to, here, being proud of myself for standing up for myself. A year ago I never would have believed it. 6 months ago I was still unsure. I pulled out the bold, face your fear card the other day. And it worked. Now I have a taste. I did it once, I can do it again.

I mean, A year ago he ripped my heart out, threw it on the ground and stomped on it. And I'm still living with this man!! A constant reminder.
And Somehow I've managed to get myself back. And working in a new positive life journey. Damn I'm good. have to do a little boasting here
I'm exhausted. Brain work in trying to recover from brain surgery and the mental side effects it left me. Working on retraining and relearning and accepting the person I am now. not the one I was before the surgery. (4 years ago).
So many things are still up in the air. I will face them one by one. I plan on sticking to my guns and being the bigger person to work through this with as little turmoil as possible. I'm kinda done with the bashing and grudges. Not completely. I still have a lot of Anger still piled up. But I've been working on not showing him that. Someone told me awhile back, that the best revenge, is to Live Well. So I've put that out there as my target goal.

Ok, There's some cliff notes from the lost text.

Yeah, I remember your journey. I'm so so glad to see you on the upswing. Nothing wrong at all about a little (or a lot!!) of boasting after you've crawled up from that dark place. Having goals to work towards always helps, IMO. So funny that he's considering a new place you may both live in. Ha, ha!

You're inspiring me to keep going with my post-divorce crap that I've let slide - the quitclaim deed, things he was supposed to take care of, last of the finances, oh yeah, and following up with Probation about outstanding child support and alimony. It's all pretty blah to do, reminds me so much of why I left him, but it's inevitable with his irresponsible ways.

Glad you're having revelations about things from your childhood, even if it's hard. I swear getting an understanding of my past helped me understand the choices I made/make as an adult, and helped me not be so hard on myself for staying in a sucky situation for as long as I did.

Onward and upward, keep going imlosingit!!!

jojored, Thanks for remembering. It's been a long haul huh? I'm glad I inspired you. Yah those let it slide stuff, kinda suck. Sometimes it's just easier to not deal if it doesn't seem like it "Has" to happen right now. I guess I just woke up one morning and said, "today's the day". Wasn't quite sure what or how I was going to start or what I really wanted to say, or really what I Wanted from him. Bottom line stuff. Men want just bottom line. :0, I'm the paragraph to the bottom line kinda person. (if you haven't already noticed) I wrote up a bunch of stuff. tweeking it on and off for a couple of days. Then I sat with my bestest friend and asked her what she thought, and if she could help me get it to the Bottom line stuff.
Worked better than mine.
It was good to have it all laid out on paper before me.
It was good that she helped me get all my emotional feelings out of it.
Get it down to brass taxes.
Even had notes as to what to do, if he came back with those trigger comments. My friend was really good. She loves that kinda stuff.
It did make it easier, and after seeing it and having it all down on paper, it didn't seem as overwhelming. Or as Big as it was in my head.
Did I ever tell you I have a degree in Overthinking. I'm now a professional. Working on ripping that degree off the wall.
Sounds like you are the one that is going to do all the leg work. Men totally suck at this crap. That's why they leave us to do it. turds
You sound like a good strong woman. Kick his ass! :0 :0 :o sorry hope not to harsh.
Tomorrow I'm 55! no one was throwing me a party so I'm throwing myself one. Last minute, but who cares. Sister knows a good Chinese place that makes good Mai Tai's. Told husband, he could come if he wanted. (main thinking there, was I would like him to be the driver so I can have more than one Mai Tai) I'm not a huge drinker. Told him he didn't have to, not mandatory, just needed to know so I can make plans for a ride. (my family has agreed to just follow my lead. Nice their coming around, now believing me about all the mental brain and nerve problems I've been having for so long. I think that was rather big of me to invite him. He looked unsure. Can't blame him. Hmm he maybe shouldn't come. The men folk could be cut to maybe one other. The flu like sickness has been hanging around a lot. And I do't want anyone at my party if theyre sick. I plan on taking the Whole day OFF. No thinking or brain training allowed. It's going to be a day of fun. Whatever comes comes.
You keep plugging along. You'll get there too. Remember you are a strong woman. You can do this.
onward and upward we go!!!!