I think that's the definition of co-dependency -Not love.

One definition I like is:

If I can help you I will.
If I can hurt you I won't.

I want to feel love for myself and not confuse neediness for love. I struggle with that but I'm getting better.

I think that love is best exemplified by this time during Lent. To lay down your life for another.

I guess it's up to each of us to discern what that means for us and our lives.

Mark

i'll add.... "giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting that they won't" (really that is the key---we open ourselves up to them, share things we wouldn't otherwise, give them all of us and trust that it won't be thrown in our faces or away.)

Totaly agree whith whenpigsfly that is the truth....Being able to trust someone that much is the key to any relationship....

Love and Hugs....Shelba

yeah...

"giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting that they won't" (really that is the key---we open ourselves up to them, share things we wouldn't otherwise, give them all of us and trust that it won't be thrown in our faces or away.)"

until they want a divorce, then all YOUR dirty laundry haunts and hounds you as they try to use every potential negative word against you.

I see all these Drug Addicts, Alcoholics and Abusers who were NOT [called] any of those things until the day After "I wanna divorce"

I don't see how that can mean co-dependency? Are you co-dependant to your mother? would you not give up a piece of your well-being for her safety? Love is Love is Love.. What 2 people share in a relationship has nothing to do with love, although it can.

giving some one the power to hurt is merely an example of trust..

I have yet to see Love in my life or any others ever..I think it is just a word used freely and never meant.

Lisa, you've felt love before... your family loves you, right? what 2 people in a relationship feel (at first anyway) has nothing to do with love. It's all desire. That yearning for one another (or just one for the other) is all for us, not them.

Love is based in balance. Its all about fully appreciating both sides of a person and not imposing your value systems on them, but respecting their values while maintaining your own. You need to know a person really well to know all their values and priorities. Passion and desire is great, but its fleeting and not an ingredient for long term love.

I am not sure sacrificing ALL of your well being for theirs is love, depends on what specifically you're talking about. Its a dangerous philosophy if its not in perfect balance. If one side does that too often you can enable the other to continue erratic or dangerous behaviour which is not in their best interest. One side supresses themselves too much and it can easily foster resentment.

It is a romantic thought but I think it borders on codependancy .

My 2 cents. Thanks for sharing it, though. Great topic.

Remember that it say "some or ALL" and what I'm mainly referring to by all is motherly love..

the concept here is that love is love no matter the people, be it family, friend or lover. The word is merely thrown about so much that people use it for too many things. What a lover is has nothing at all to do with love, but because that's what we call them we start correlating the wrong things to love.

#11 you couldnt be farther off base..I Love my kids but that is the only Love I have ever had or given and even that as they are now all grown has pretty much went to hell..so like I said before Love is just a word..