life is sad .people aren't perfect . as the mater of fact most of us are down wrong. u have to live your life your path. let go what is not yours, u feel angry because u still think he is yours. no. he is another person now. he has moved onvwhile u still live in the past. had the unfortunate fate to meet this man who do u wrong. accept it and move on in the hope that your future will bring u better poeple.

My problem is not him per say. My problem is co parenting is hard. I feel like when i broke up with him i also broke up with my kid. The night he cheated my kid heard it all and that women is the same one. For the last 5 months my x tried hard for me to forgive him and get back. Since i said no he started talking to her again. I just need pointers on how to deal with having another women in your kids live? I have always been involve in my kids life so to now hear oh i cant go to a recital because she will be there is soo heartbreaking.

I am dealing with that with one exception, I only have one child who is older. Sometimes it is harder for adults to actually act like an adult. The hardest part is for you to be that adult and act like everything is normal, so that your son can look up to you as a the model you want him to follow. I haven't met my x's girlfriend but I know at some point I will have to, and that sucks. I have to remind myself that I have to be the grown-up and swallow my pride and act like I am ok with it. Then go home and cry in my beer alone. As far as you not being able to go, you are an adult and your child has a recital. Don't let anyone (unless the court orders it) to tell you (an adult) you can't go. You don't have to acknowledge them or sit near them, you have every right to go and pretend they are not there. Someday your child will look at both parents and decide for themselves which parent they respect more, the one who did everything they could to be an great example or one who tried to control all the situations. Good Luck.

Hi Goals,

I read your post and can relate. I am going through a similar situation. I want to first say that you are a strong, confident, intelligent, worthy woman that deserves the very best. One thing I keep defaulting to is that regardless of this other woman, you have made a huge, brave step toward getting out of a relationship where you were not receiving the love and trust you should from your ex. Here is my story: I have been married nearly 17 years and we have two children together, 15 and 14. I had to file for divorce 1 1/2 years ago due to his drinking, verbal abuse and violent temper explosions, yelling, controlling. etc. I was living in a prison. We tried counseling, however, he was in denial (still is) and would not acknowledge areas he needed help. Long story short, I needed to leave to feel safe again and provide a safe, healthy environment for my kids. We are finally pushing forward on the divorce and he moved out 6 weeks ago. One week after he moved out, he was set up and within 5 weeks says he is in love and serious about this girl. She is another drinker and an easy co-dependent partner for him. I am grateful it is no longer me, however, the kids just found out about her and my daughter is expressing disgust over his behavior. He already introduced the kids to her and now we are getting a play by play on their behavior around town. It is strange for me as well because we were a family unit and now there is this other person and her children in the mix. After a few tears and grieving, not over him, but the lose of our family and fantasy that things would have worked out (if he would have gotten help) . I felt better this weekend when I finally just accepted that this is the situation now and the feelings, and stages of grief, I am going through are very normal and expected. I had 18+ years total with this person, two children, and some good memories too. However, not a healthy, trusting relationship. You have history with your family unit together and now things are changing, and not by choice. You will get through this, and much better off. I agree with dragonflywishes that you can be a great role model for your child. Be assertive and present and not let this other woman make you feel weak to the point that you miss out on your child's events. Your child needs you and that is more important than this other person. It will be hard, but here is a quote that I rely on....."When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at begin to change." Wayne Dyer. Our perspective on the situation can make or break us. You can do this! Stay strong and press on. You have a bright future. Best of luck!

Thank you for sharing your story.