Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

dealing with loneliness?

auniecoley
auniecoley
My now ex-husband left me literally out of nowhere on a Saturday morning this past November, the week of our 3rd wedding anniversary. Two nights before he asked me what I wanted to do for our anniversary. Needless to say it's been a tough year, and my divorce was fast and furious. My ex blames the end of our marriage on me becoming sick after we got married. I've had 3 brain surgeries and have debilitating headaches. So, I'm not exactly out in the dating world, nor do I feel I should be. I do however find myself extremely lonely. I'm sure it's part of the grieving process, but it's just too much sometimes. I've read many people say I miss my friend, and that's just it, I miss my buddy. The messed up part is that it's not even HIM anymore that I miss, its what he represented in my life that I miss. Of course I miss my lover as well, more than I thought! I just want to be a wise ass with someone, make someone laugh, hang out, cook dinner, make plans, walk the dog. So, what do you do? I've had friends tell me to join a dating site (I know I'm not ready) it's like I need a friend site

Thanks
Nic
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
Yeah that's what I miss most the companionship but in reality for us that was dead a long time ago. Hard to take off the rose colored glasses sometimes but it helps me to remember the crappy times. Then I don't miss her so much. But the good times were great so I know where ur coming from. Really sucks
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
I can TOTALLY relate. I don't miss my stbxw so much as I miss (for lack of a better way to put it) having a person fill the space she used to occupy. And I miss "being happily married," and the life we had together. I miss having a partner in crime. And the routine. Making coffee, planning the day, making dinner, putting the kids to bed, and so on.

I try to rely on the distinction between being "alone" and being "lonely." Now I try to enjoy having time and space to myself. If I want to stay up late, I can; I watch what I want to watch on TV, and rent the movies I want to rent. I started taking guitar lessons and, next week, I'm taking a few "How to knit" classes at a local fabrics store. I joined a gym and I go at off times of the day - because I can. I walk the dog. A lot.
butterfly1234567
butterfly1234567
I understand how you feel. My ex broke up with me also out of the blue and I mist him every day still. I the companionship all the time.

You have to make sure you are ready for the dating sites, there are people on there that are separated also. those people I am thinking are just looking to fill the same space since they to are in the middle of getting out of a divorce. You may find someone fun to just share a meal with or a movie.

Hang in there, this site has been very healing for a lot of us here.
.