ok long and short of it, i am the strict one always was my ex is the do what you want mom, my daughters are 14 and 11. my oldest has bipolar tendencies she is not officially diagnosed, yet due to puberty, anyhow, that was part of the reason for our divorcing the stress and combating over how to handle her, my ex works midnights so my kids are with me a majority of the time ,now that school has started.

now that we are divorced, 90 percent of the time when she is with me, she is decent she knows her limits and pushes them but accepts the reprocussions of her exceeding her limits or misbehaving,

at my exes its a varitable war, they fight if my daughter says something evil the ex retaliates with more evil i get phone calls saying come get her now or hurry up i cant take it, i have tried to talk to her.

i have told my ex, i am not telling you what to do, i am telling you wahat works for me you can try it tweak it make it work for you but you need to do something you cant keep doing what you are doing or you are gonna keep getting the same result,

now my question my ex cheated on me, and we have been divorced slash seperated for almost 2 years,

anytime i try to talk to her about my kids she thinks i am, making this about her or her bf thinks i want her back, i have told them both to their face i want nothing to do with this house or you two other than my kids, but we have to deal with our kids, but she cant get past the fact that she thinks its all about her. anyone have any suggestions for me to get through to her to make her realize its not about you its about them