Heave, when I was on dating sites it seemed pretty clear that if people labeled themselves as looking for "dates" as opposed to looking for a "relationship" then it was going to be just that. I was using the dating site to meet all sorts of different men, so I wanted to have that flexibility of seeing other guys and not becoming too serious.

I think you have it right by saying no one defines dating the same and is very confusing. My only suggestion is conversation. You have to communicate to each other and find out what each person is looking for and what they consider. I think that is the only way to find out if it is a true relationship or just dating. Best of luck!

Ok...since this is in the mix...I am dating someone but it is heading towards a relationship. She wants one but she wants to date me a while before it moves into a relationship. We have been seeing each other for six weeks and talk over an hour a night on the phone. I know her pretty well and like what I see.

At this point we are dating exclusively. We talked about this last night and she said that she wasn't going to be dating other people because she sees this moving in a good direction but she still wants to date a little longer before having a relationship.

Problem is my definition is that if we are exclusive I consider it a relationship (which is the direction things are going and I want them to go there). I know her very well and I really like what I see also. THere are some traits that we share that are very important to me.

When we start having sex it is a relationship.

I don't like the term dating. Never did.

@MsV so you just have relationships?

This is tricky..

So what kind of relationship is it? Romantic or platonic and moving in a different direction?

I agree with what Rote said. Dating is keeping your options open with others. Isnt it kind of like trying other people on to see how they fit?

And why is there a measure of time involved? I dont understand that part of it.

I would define a relationship as an exclusivity (after mutual agreement and conversation) that involved the romantic aspect.

Maybe this is why Im completely out of the game.. I dont get it.

I don't know, I remember my ex inviting me over and asking me to be his girl. We had been dating (if you call it that) for about 6 - 7 weeks or so. I didn't pressure him in the very least. Sometimes, people just fall into a routine of dating and it becomes a relationship without anything being said. I think that if both of you are exclusive, it is probably the beginnings of a relationship. She's just being cautious and protecting her heart.

GS...sex does not = relationship.

G, no, I hate the word dating. and i was in a relationship for 27 years.

I see dating as the search, a relationship as what goes on afterward. Dating might last longer if one wants to me more sure of the find.

Relationships can start with dating and dating can start with a current relationship (platonic, work, etc).

In the end, it's semantics. Let is go where it will.

THis is definitely romantic. We have not gotten physical and that is something that I am not rushing. I want her to be ready. I get the feeling that she groups that into the relationship part as well as a stronger emotional connection.

Like I said, we both agreed that we are exclusive at this point. I should be happy with where I am at and I think that this just boils down to different definitions right now. I also tend to like titles but that will have to wait.

Can you ask her what it means to her? What would be different that would allow for the transition from dating to a "relationship"?

My assumption would be that in her eyes, you met, dated, became exclusive (which is where you are now) and the next step would be a stronger emotional connection, intimacy.

Yes, everyone defines them differently. It is what the two people decide and clarify together that determines where you are at, right?

I see it all as a "relationship".
There are different stages of the relationship... dating' all the way through committed/intimate/monogamous.

@ Nam With me it is I have never had sex with someone that I did not have a relationship with.

you know what Heave- I just think she's taking her time, and getting her own emotions straight. We women, face a mountain of not only insecurities, and thoughts and emotions on a daily basis- it was how we are built. I just think that she is being cautious, and is trying to make sure she wants exactly what she wants.

Give it time, you have to be patient, and in fact really enjoy it, cause the next few months will get interesting once she has a better inkling to how she's really feeling about everything.