I've been asking myself that same question. Working up the nerve to join match.com. There's also something to be said for waiting a while too. Seems to be sound advice, though it is definitely an adjustment being alone, and the urge is to find someone fast for comfort. I'm resisting the urge, but looking more forward to taking the step when I'm ready. Dating your kids unavailable teacher sounds complicated. :)

Looking or thinking to date after any type of break up either its a marriage or a relationship, its still scary making yourself vulnerable period. But you need to follow your heart and keep an open mind. You owe it to yourself to be happy

Ugh, I did a run with online dating and it was a disaster.

The current guy I just recently started talking to I met at a coworker's house for a get together she was having. I didn't go with the intention to meet anyone, but found someone who seems interesting.

I'm trying online dating again. I have had very mixed results, in the past, when I was younger. Supposedly it is now more acceptable.

My observations, women ask for good honest men and ignore replies unless they are a good looking bad boy, with an adventurous streak.

Men look for good looking women and string them all along (all talking, no meeting) until they find the "best" of the bunch to pursue.

My best friend has the method that works and has worked throughout history. Meet someone at a get together as TTMI said. Met my first wife at school, the second online. Both have their merits and both have their drawbacks. I will work up to getting out more, but for now.....

Unfortunately, some of us aren't social butterflies. So we either have to accept it or change our modus operandi. My view of online dating was to pursue the first few promising leads and stop. I have heard that it is best to work at it for no less than a year, to increase the odds, of happening into the right person.

Me, I am going to try it for a year with no expectations and see what happens. After all, I have waited longer, doing nothing with no results. Instead of feeling the rejection and taking it personally, I am going to try it like finding a good job (which I am good at) and being patient. Once it warms up, I will join some more "social" Meetups as meetup.com.

So far, it's been promising, but no results. Doesn't bother me, as my attitude has changed in the wake of my last divorce.

After my (typical) long winded reply, it comes down to this......

It's all a game of persistence and patience. BE the person, you ideally look for and want to be with. That's what I have learned from my successful friends, whether it's the old fashioned method or online.

Seems that as we get older its so much harder to find someone. I met my heartbreak ex right after my divorce. We did meet online, but really started out as friends. Common bond (going through divorce). After being with my husband 19 years, there were some definite things I had to look for in a man. One being someone who had children, and one I would feel would be a fit in my family. Of course, there had to be all the other things you look for in a man, but once you have kids, its not all about you anymore. We were together almost 1 full year until we brought our kids together, and it meant so much to me to make sure it worked.

Now that me and my bf bu, Im really scared to see whats out there. I thought I'd try the online thing to get my mind off of my heartbreak to only feel like a piece of meat. I received a lot of weird emails. The few men I reached out to would look at my profile and then never respond. It hurt my ego even worse than I already felt.

Im with you all, where do you find them, and then when you find them, are they even good enough. I did sign up for meetup.com just to meet new people, but haven't had the nerve to attend any events. Otherwise, I guess maybe friends can help.

Dating was so much easier when I was young, no children, no worries or spending my life alone.

Cant wait to hear where everyones advice is to meet people.

Actually I met someone on POF.com. We have so much in common and can talk about anything together. It all started from a simple Hello from her to me. Going on three weeks together and have not seen one things yet that is a red flag! I am hoping it works out well!

I had to weed through several women to find a good one that was close to my age and location( not that either really mattered much to me just makes it easier to date) . I found that if you open your mind to someone that you wouldnt normally date , because of trivial things . You may find someone that amazes you !

I have also met and dated women i met on Zoosk. That didnt work out so well, but it was an enjoyable time. I made some new friends and am thankful for that.

I know there are a lot of idiots, loosers, and scumbags out there. Eventually you will learn to weed through them. Just dont give up and eventually you will find the right person when it is ment to be.

I wish you luck !

There are some groups that get together for various activities (meet-ups) that you can find online. They range from hiking groups, book clubs, dining clubs, bicycling, cards, nature walks, etc.. Perhaps you could search for a group and activity ant interests you and then attend to see if there are any eligible singles there. If not, at least it will be a chance to get out and do something you enjoy.

It can for sure be a challenge to date today and I truly don't think the venue matters too much. Whether it's POF, Match, Meetup, etc, those are just tools - the people are the issue. We are different - we aren't dating like we did 10-20 years ago and if you happen to be one of those people who believes in traditions or have high standards for yourself - that makes things more difficult. What I am finding is that people aren't really looking for a relationship - they are looking for sex - they just won't come out and say that. The safest way I think if you don't want to deal w/the issues dating sites bring - is to meet someone through a friend. How about speed dating, has anyone tried that? I haven't, wonder how effective that is.

We don't often meet people through other friends. So to me dating is now something you have to just get out there and do and be ready to deal w/what it brings - unfortunately the world is different and technology while is a great thing has changed the way we do many things and dating is one of them. I would stay away from the free dating sites.

Good luck:)

I've gone the very untraditional route...but not on purpose.
After my husband left, I was very lonely, so I downloaded social apps on my phone. I needed human contact and sometimes it was nice to talk to people who didn't know my story or me. I could bare my soul or pretend to be someone different.
At first it was just me playing a role...being the more vibrant me or someone else completely. But as time went by and I became more comfortable in my own skin, I started having real connections.
I've met and seriously developed feelings for a guy through these apps. But I've also gained a huge support system too.
I will warn anyone out there, these places are filled with perverts and weirdos...but aren't clubs and dating sites? Lol

I don't know where to meet people either. I have heard that a person should ask herself what her ideal mate would be doing. Would he be volunteering to help the homeless? Would he be furthering his education? Would he be bowling in a league? Would he be playing co-ed sports? Would he be exercising at the gym? Would he be traveling with a singles group? The idea is to attend events with people who share a common interest with you. What do you think? I don't think I can do online dating either. I am way too much of a chicken. Let us know if you find a hot new place to meet people. Best wishes!

Tammi

I have no idea either....but I give you credit for trying and opening yourself up. I hope you meet someone ... keep us posted :) Good advice TMMIB....

After being married for over 20 years, I am not sure how to even date again. Maybe it is insecurity as I was so comfortable with my ex wife. For me, I leave it in the hands of faith. If God wants me to date again and/or remarry someday, it will happen without me trying to work so hard or forcing a relationship to occur. Although I have my kids, I do get lonely now and then as I was with someone for so long. But, I can be okay staying single. I just wish I had some peace and purpose in my life. I know more than a few who have needed to be with someone so badly that they settle for anyone and it never turns out good.

Thanks for all your comments and support. I agree the dating sites are just full of people looking for that fast hookup. I don't really hear a good suggestion tho besides meeting through friends. It seems I have turned into an introvert these last few years and haven't seen many of my friends. I guess it's time to get out again.