That was part of my problem. I loved him more than I loved and respected myself. Never again. As far as doing things you used to do as a family? Sure it's hard at first but it does get easier. The first time I went to the coast without him I sat in my car and cried for two hours but now when I go I can look at the ocean and appreciate it as a place of beauty and reflection. It will get better. I promise.

Hey Leo,

I feel for you, but it does get better as time goes on. I just found my ex has seriously damaged my car on purpose after I did her a kindness, so I understand how hard it is when you try everything you can and the other person lets you down. I am also a very loyal Leo myself (big pussycat, gimme a scratch behind the ears, ya know u want u;)) - but what I have always said is that we can focus on the bad and let it destroy us, or we can gently push ourselves, day by day, to focusing on what we would actually like, and eventually we attract it into our lives. A good cry helps - I don't cry much, I am a man, but u can, that's allowed:) - if it helps you get it out of your system, its healthy. If I might make a small suggestion - I would avoid going to places you spent time together in, if at possible, because that will always dredge up memories of the past. It really will get better, and you can always have a natter to your mates on here, you know that. HUGS to you x

It bothers me from time to time to do thing alone that I should be doing with her as husband and wife. Bothers me when I see couples doing things together I cant do with her anymore. But it isnt has bad as it use to be. It has gotten better as others have told me it would. It does take time to heal and transition into a new life, but it does happen. Every time I do something on my own, I feel like I have achieved something important cause i dont need her to do things or to live a life I can enjoy. I feel very strong and independent. My point is that things do get better and you do feel better in time as your new life rebuilds. You will have those moments, but they get less. Stay strong cause better days really are headed your way.

Three years later and I still get sad at times when I do things alone.

I also still get upset every weekend when the kids leave to go their dads.

The good news is at the beginning I cried the entire weekend they were gone, now it's a minute or two here and there

It takes along time to build a marriage so it also takes a long time to deal with the ending of it

I'm sorry for your disstress.
Can you please explain what "I've already compromised my integrity" means?

:( I feel the same way. I'm starting to get a little bit better at not crying at everything. Hugs to you. It really is so difficult.

Thanks everyone. I am trying to love and respect myself more. Take care of myself and my children. This was to be our little get-away to bring some fun family time back in our lives. We've been in this awful place (going through divorcee) for almost 10 months. I tried my best to hide my tears and sadness. I'm sure they were aware which made me even more sad because I didn't want to ruin it.

Compromise- as I go through this, I am really disliking this word. I've made so many compromises trying to settle. As far as my integrity, it was hiding the truth about him from as many people as I possibly could. Family, friends, co-workers, community, until it all blew up and I couldn't hide it anymore.

truth about husband?
integrity, i understand, my wife had an affair, probably still going on, she hid it very well, i stumbled on the evidence about a month after she dropped the "i'm not happy" turd,
we live in small town, she works in the school system, piece of shit scumbag boyfriend is involved with kids organization in town, one of my kids is in it
to protect my kids from humiliation i've kept it quit, protects peice of shit boyfriend and piece of shit stbx, and boogers up my integrity

so i feel for you and your sons,

I'm sorry to say this, but yes, you probably will. sometimes the least little thing will sneak up behind you and slap you across the face. I see ghosts no matter where I go and what I do.
I have no advice. I have nothing tying me down here, so I am leaving him and all the ghosts behind and moving away where he cant find me and where there are no ghosts