Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Does anyone know?
When my X has the kids on the weekends, I always call every nite to say good nite to them, but lately he has not been picking up and doesn't call me back to give me that chance. I don't want to disrupt his time with them, but not being able to tuck them in, I still want to at least say good nite, especially since he doesn't have big plans with them, like being out all day at a fun park or visiting family far away. Am I treading on his time?
Lee
When my X has the kids on the weekends, I always call every nite to say good nite to them, but lately he has not been picking up and doesn't call me back to give me that chance. I don't want to disrupt his time with them, but not being able to tuck them in, I still want to at least say good nite, especially since he doesn't have big plans with them, like being out all day at a fun park or visiting family far away. Am I treading on his time?
Lee
Its my guess--and thats all it is--is that you have physical custody and he has be relegated to weekends only. Whether it was his choice, your choice, or mutual, chances are he has come to resent it. By not answering the phone or calling back, its his way of saying stay out of 'my time'. Its wrong on his part if thats the case, but it could be the case.
My ex and I have 50/50 physical custody--half month with me, half month with mom, every month--and from the start we established a *policy* that either parent could and would call to say goodnight to the children. Most often, like if they are with me, I have them call their mother and vice versa. Even tho we are presently in a custody battle, that has never changed. We find it brings a form of stability for the children.
Again, its wrong if he is doing it just for spite. I think you should diplomatically confront him about it and try to work something out.
you always give great advice. I do try to be polite when starting a discussion with him, but you're right, he's come to resent a lot of things. Right now he doesn't want to talk to me and the way he talks to me, I don't care to talk to him either. But I know that I have to when it comes to the kids. We have resorted to emails only which is fine by me, that way it is written down and any misunderstanding (which he always says I misunderstand or assume wrong) would be on his part now.
My ex and I have an agreement aswell that if the kids are home we can talk with them.
Now most of the time I get threw no problem, but some nights her BF is on the phone and the kids don't get the message that I called.
So there are times when you will call and get nothing, and their is not much you can do about it other than hope he answers.
I think that is great that there are guys out there like u 2 who still take responsibility even after a divorce/separation. I knew there had to b real men still left somewhere in this world.
Lee