Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife who I've been with for almost 30 years divorced me. She filed in August and just became final last week. 3 years ago I kissed and inappropriately touched another woman. Not that it's an excuse but both of us were on depression meds and drinking heavily. She agreed to forgive me and stressed for me to forgive myselfalthough U never have and probably ever will,for the past three years but every time we would overdue drinking with each other she would bring it up and we would end up fighting. In the beginning of July she looked on my phone which my location history said there were 3 separate times I was somewhere I wasn't because I was at work at the time. I have my clock in/out times but she refuses to believe me. I know it's probably karma from what I did 3 years ago but I swear on all I am I haven't even thought of another woman since then. Right before this happened my two kids left at home got their own place along with my granddaughter. Coincidence or was this planned? All I know is that I'm so sad and alone, trying to concentrate at work has been a bitch! I know there are so many worse things going on to people but I just don't know how to go on. Somebody please help.
Wake up! You are the victim. It was planned. . .it's not about what you did, she is divorcing you for the money
Get a lawyer now or you will lose everything you ever worked for and more. This is so common now, we have a name for it : ' frivolous divorce - frivorce'
READ THIS NOW
https://therationalmale.com/2017/08/01/divorce-incorporated/
She's clearly got more and more screwed up about it tho, and hasn't let it go, and is sounding like an alcoholic for the whole 'bring it up and hash it to death' factor. I have an alcoholic friend who calls me drunk and very quickly deteriorates to something I said to him and how hurt he is... I don't answer his calls any more. Why the hell would I? But that's an aside.
I don't understand the concept of not forgiving yourself for doing it. thinking it was stupid? sure. Wishing you hadn't ? fine. But 'not forgiving yourself' smacks of masochism and I'd look into it. If she's bringing it up and dragging you over the coals again, then think about that.
The point is she's got you wallowing in guilt, and panic, and she's actually quite screwed up and probably a reasonable part of the problem. She said she forgave but she can't.
If the two of you are breaking up it sounds like a good thing. It was becoming more toxic. Yes she gets half the 401. Do you get half of hers?
Fifteen grand in credit card debt: I'm assuming you were involved in that accumulation. I guess half of that is for her to pay off?
this certainly is a coincidence, in that your kids have left and now wife feels she can go. She may not have been willing to leave till now, or seen the possibility. Or it could be that a future of being home alone with you kills her.
Either way it's gone and broken and incredibly painful. But that pain does ease and gives all of you distance and space to grow and regroup. You will get through this.