I am in my mid 50's also and if I lost my husband, yes, there would be pain and grief, but I will still have my job, my friends, family, children and grandchildren. I will still have my hobbies, interests, the causes I care about. I still have a future.

Just because you don't have a future as a married woman, that doesn't mean you don't have a future. And who's to say a new man doesn't enter your life and fill your future with love, honor, respect and happiness.

What you have is a chance to live the rest of your life with respect and without pain from this guy. The good thing about your age is your kids are probably grown and you can do what you need to for you and not worry about others. I know life is grim and you are so very hurt. Please understand you will eventually heal and you have to keep going right now. Find something to do that you enjoy. For me it is book club. I feel better if I go to the gym so I do. Surround yourself with supportive people. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything. You can send me a message any time.

What i did was get into therapy for me and then
after He left me i started divorce care. I was also
attending alanon.

Keep reaching out for loving caring support, Divorce
Care.org is great place to learn about the grieving And
the divorce process.

Its an emotional rollercoaster that keeps running
until the grieving stops. Which can be awhile so
Accept it and be kind and gentle to yourself while
You are processing your feelings and emotions.

I felt alot of rejection, betrayal and i also had some
Old abandonment issues.

I do not believe any real healing can begin until after the
divorce And decree are in place. Then it takes 3 years
to normalize After that.

Normalizing is not caring what the ex is doing or not doing
Anymore, you are more into your own new life and could
care Less about them unless it effects the children.

Divorcing is not a simple process, the longer married the
harder It is add in infidelity and if they were a checked out
spouse to You Already that adds more hurt and confusion,
HUGS

It's horrible after all these years with these men they just turned out to be a whole nother person. Just make sure you're releasing your anger your pain all your frustrations in positive ways. It was hard for me to be positive I fell a couple of times but I'm much better now. It's very true you have to start thinking about your new life what you would like to do. It's a new way of thinking, without a husband it's so unreal believe me I know! Remember you are still loved , even when it doesn't feel like it! Best wishes to you and your family.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this painful situation. I was married for 26 years and had 2 adult children. I was devastated. My ex had a girlfriend and he is now married to her.

My advice to you would be to research and learn what a cheater really is. Once I gained an understand of who my ex and his Other Woman (OW) really were, I gained so much power. Your husband's cheating had nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter if you were a size 2, Barbie doll looking woman who kept the cleanest house and cooked the best food around. Your husband cheated because HE has issues. If he were married to his OW and met you, he would want to cheat with you. He is insecure and the OW is no one special. In fact, she is the complete opposite of special.

Please gain clarity on your situation and who a cheater really is. This is what really helped me a lot. When I was going through my separation and divorce, I took to bed and never wanted to leave. Now, I am so happy and married to a man who is so much better than my ex. I am grateful my ex left. -- I actually got married before he and OW married. They weren't together when we got divorced, but got back together 3 years later. Now he has been texting and calling me. We seldom have a reason to talk, but he is finding lame reasons to call me. I know him and I know he is not happy with OW. I know this because I have researched cheaters and they are just not happy people. Your husband will be the same way. He will not be happy with his OW once he settles in to his new life (if he stays with her). They are not content people. Eventually, they get tired of their affair person and often realize what a mistake they made. But don't let that fool you, they're still the snake that slivers. Don't ever trust them again!

Hang in there. I promise things will get better.

I meant to say the snake slithers. LOL.

My mum went through a similar situation a little over ten years ago. My dad not only had an affair, he had another daughter (I was an only child til then). He promised my mum the affair was over, as he cheated on her for about two years... My mum "forgave" him.
I think it was a big mistake... He has cheated again. And my mum now is 60 and she is only with my dad cause she depends on him money wise...
I feel for her, I'm her only daughter and we live in different continents... I think she would've been happier by herself or with somebody else. But she couldn't see that at the time.

Wow, so grateful the kind support. Thank you. Makes me feel a little better.

*Hugs* Prayers and Blessings Friend :)