Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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mjc522 06/28/2017

So I met this girl a year after I got divorced. She had a boyfriend at the time but we became fast friends due to common interest, she wanted to be a flight attendant and I'm in school to be a pilot. About a year after we met, her boyfriend ended up breaking up with her and a couple months later her and I started dating and I thought that I had met my soulmate (she had everything that I had always wanted in a girl). Once we started dating I noticed that she was always telling little lies about things for no reason and that she had a lot of guy "friends" actively trying to persue her. Whenever I brought it up to her she always played it off that it was harmless and they didn't mean anything by it. Aside from that we had a great relationship and we were talking about moving in together. About seven months into our relationship I found out that she had been lying to me about a particular guy friend of hers and I ended up breaking up with her because I was tired of all of her lies. A couple days later we decided to try to make it work and got back together only for me to find out that she had cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship and We ended up breaking up again. We talked about maybe trying to make it work again and she was telling me that she loved me and missed me. Then a few days later she said that she didn't love me and told me she started seeing someone new. Two weeks later I get a call from her saying that it didn't work out with the other guy and she wanted to put everything behind us and be a couple again, I flatly told her no. It's been two months now and I still desperately miss her and am still depressed and part of me still wants her back. She says that she wants to remain friends and that she is sorry for everything that she has done to me. Our idea of a date was getting fast food and sitting at the end of the runway watching the airliners takeoff and land. Today is the first time I went back to the airport, I had to catch a flight to pick up my kids and I cried the whole time I was there. When I got to my destination she texted me trying to reminisce about all of the traveling we did together and that she was about to take off and go to training to be a flight attendant. I'm having such a hard time moving on and am tired of hurting I'm so heartbroken I miss everything about her. By the way we don't talk often last month she texted me happy birthday and yesterday I texted her the same and she said that she still wanted to be friends, I told her that I couldn't because it would hurt to bad because I'm still not over the break up. Also when we first broke up she said that she still wanted to be friends I told her no then too. How long will this last? I know it sounds stupid but I'm tired of getting sad and thinking of her every time I see a plane. And frankly I'm just tired of crying over her. Please help.

returnofthemack 06/28/2017

I am not in the same situation as you, although every time I saw a plane I wanted to cry too for a while. My ex was a pilot and most of our relationship was based on all these travel plans we had. In fact this year we had so many travel plans, when our relationship ended I felt as my whole future was gone. I just started trying to make new plans with friends but it just doesn't have the same feeling and excitement that my plans with him had. I don't get sick at the sound or sight of a plane anymore (we have been broken up for 2 months) but I know that I will forever associate him with with planes and I refuse to fly his airline in fear of running into him. I think it will get better. It sounds like your relationship was short and intense like mine was. The pain was unbearable for the first month but I am almost feeling normal now.

kbbcoop77 06/28/2017

I would stop talking to her if you want to heal. She's already proven she's not trustworthy. Concentrate on your new career goals and let time do its magic.

naturegirl23 06/28/2017

I agree if you're feeling really sad talking to her will just make it more painful for you. She has proved to you more then once that you can't trust her.

mjc522 06/30/2017

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate the comment about the ex boyfriend being a pilot. It's comforting to know that someone else is in the same boat.

mjc522 06/30/2017

So today I picked up my kids, yesterday I flew up to get them. When I picked them up my oldest who's six kept asking me about my ex girlfriend. He asked why we weren't together and I told him that we both wanted different things. I couldn't tell him that she had been lying and cheating on me. He asked if we could visit her. I told him that she moved away, she's in Arizona training to be a flight attendant. The one that hurt the most is when he asked me if she still liked him. I said that she still does. I don't like the fact that I brought her into my life and I hate the fact that I brought her into my children's lives. I she was so good with them and was going on about how she wanted to be their step mom and how they felt like her children. I have two little boys and they absolutely loved her. I'm so mad at myself for letting her in. Last time that they came to visit my six year old asked her to be his mom.

Spr167 06/30/2017

Your going to have to stand for yourself and say enough is enough and shake yourself off!

Its time to get firmly rooted and grounded for yourself and your boys. Sit down and write a gratitude list of the next 10 things you want to happen in your life. Spend 10 mintues per day visualizing them as if they happened for 30 days. Once you're done meditating for that day release it and shift your focus on to some new goals.

Unplug yourself from her energy and you will feel better and better. Do this by visualizing yourself unplugging your cord from her and unplugging her cord from you and then walking off into opposite directions in to the universe.

Trust me I'm going through a very painful situation as well. I thought I finally met my soulmate the man of my dreams he told me every single thing that I wanted to hear. Out of fear of the relationship being real or not I did break it off with him and when I saw that I was being fearful I decided to just leap in and give it my all. However he's not giving it his all and making everything my fault it's very painful for me and I have to do the same things that I'm telling you to do. You will be OK, she will be back but you have to make a conscious effort to say NO!

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