I havent scheduled another appt with mediator yet, but will have to. The waiting period wont end til June 2nd and nothing can be done prior to that.
You can do this and letting him see you OK and in control is what you need to let him see. Make a list of the things that he has done and focus on those. Don't waste time and energy on someone who doesn't care about you or your feelings and needs. You are the only one that can control you, don't let your mind over think. Be Strong! You can do this and take back the control. Prayers and hugs to you!

I am sure being on hold is hard too. I am glad for the time I have had to still be in my own house (my comfort zone) but sometimes wish I was out of the house and all my things the first day we split...Thanks for the encouraging words!

Take care

Good luck tomorrow...stay strong!

Remember the house is half yours as well so make sure you don't walk away with nothing! If he insist on keeping the house and your lawyer says you can't force him to sale it then make sure you get your half of the equity! Maybe you should ask your lawyer if you can stay in the house until he is able to pay you your half? Also try to request that he pay your moving expenses. And make sure if he keeps the house that he has to refinance the remaining mortgage under his name only! You don't want your name legally tied to a house that is not yours!

Hope you get some rest tonight...

Good luck in court tomorrow, I hope it goes well for you. Be strong and put that fake smile on for all the world to see, you can fall apart later. The fog is lifting and some tough decisions are coming but you can do it, one day at a time. Remember, we can do hard things! I'm still in my house, I got stuck with it, I don't want to be as it is a daily reminder of our once happy life together, just can't decide what to do with it or where to go....sigh. Hugs and prayers sent your way, let us know how it goes.

Thank you both! ALD - I will try to remember all of the encouraging, heart felt words. I like if he gets the house I will ask your lawyer if you can stay in the house until he is able to pay you your half? How would that work out would he have to pay house and bills? That is what he is doing now. That would be nice to have him pay most the bills and house payment while we live here a few months any.

You- I will do my best to have that smile on, do I add a smirk FU to it, or will I want to grab him and run away and all this shit never happened!

"We can do hard things, we can do hard things...I hope I can I hope I can...lol sorry...

Thanks again. Take care

In my case I had my lawyer add in the divorce papers that until he was able to pay me my part of the equity in cash that I was able to stay in the home (he was not), that he was to pay the mortgage and all bills associated with the home (even the housekeeper...ha!) My situation was a little different in that my ex was having multiple affairs (including people who reported to him at work) and I had solid proof. More than likely a judge wouldn't care about the affairs but my ex was so afraid of me telling people (his boss, the husbands of two of his mistresses, etc) that he was willing to give me whatever to keep my mouth shut. And he had promised one mistress (the one he is now married to) that he would get her out of her government apartment and into what was our dream home so he was willing to do whatever to get me out!!!

Doesn't hurt to ask...worse he can say is no! And as a side note, I live in Texas and my lawyer only cost me $600.00..,.i know I am very lucky as some divorces cost thousands as the parties bicker back and forth.

Just make sure you get your half and what you deserve. Don't let him intimidate you. Treat it as a business transaction and not as a personal decision.

Good luck!

Thinking of you
linterested to hear what happens

Shitty thing and rotten to go through

I can't imagine

But my turn soon enough

Hugs to you
and much strength and support

You are the right party
He is the wrong and is wronging you

Hi, I am finally divorced after two yrs. of hell 9 pre-trial conferences, no contact orders on and on. After 37yrs. of a very abusive marraige I am free. I did not think I had the strength but I found out otherwise. It's not easy and I won't lie and say it was. I was able to buy his half of the house using my share of his pension. In the state where I live everything is split since I cannot work he suffered the biggest financial loss. I am continuing to get stronger each day. You can do this you owe it to yourself to be happy.Good luck and keep up the faith that every dog has his day

Well we made it through court today. Glenda (my sister) and I were waiting in the court room and I seen him through the glass wall looking at the trial name/room listings.
It just seems so odd. We are in the same room but we are now divided. We are sitting to where we couldn't see each other. I don't have the right words to how this feels...
They lawyers met and started the back and forth game...The house will be sold but he takes possession of it end of this month...ugh I am not ready. I still need to rent a house... He will have 3-4 months to sell it, and we split the profit.
Our son will stay on his insurance for the next 6 years.
I get everything in the house besides the refrigerator and some of his personals that are still here...Not sure why he wants the refrigerator. I think it is because it is black and matches the other appliances looks better for selling... I am not sure why, was a little odd when my lawyer came back with that request out of left field. whatever...
He gets all the tools, and lawn care equipment. I have asked for the better riding lawn mower not sure where that was left...ha
I will get alimony for the next 5.1 years. Not as much as I wanted but...We went back and forth on this for some time...It was almost 5 (closing time) my lawyer was talking to his lawyer. My sister leaves to have a cigarette, she had be coughing throughout the time and as odd as it is when you are a smoker (So happy I am not) if you smoke seems to help.
Well guess what both of the conference rooms were right across from each other and the doors were open I was looking right at him...I of course open my mouth and things fill right out...Thinks like 'thank you', you haven't even tried to contact your sons...You just tossed us all away...and a bit more. Of course no vocal response from him. He was just looking at me like I am judging him harshly and I just don't understand while giving a slight shaking/nod of the head. I don't feel wrong or stupid for what I said. I am glad of this..
Well my lawyer comes back with an offer again. My sister couldn't get back in because the door was locked. So since she had been helping make all the decisions, we went to speak with her out font the building which was initiated by my lawyer. The four of us went down the elevator together....so odd...so sad...we are strangers now...It makes me cry when I think about it...

We have little things to clarify but we are almost there...which means goodbye...After the divorce is complete the only thing we will have to deal with together is when the house sales...

After all this my mind keeps going back to I don't want to be happening, how did my life come to this, and I just want him back. The other night I dreamt he was back. He was sleeping in the bed beside me...I know let it go...nothing to do with him matters....blah blah...

Well enough of me...

Take all.

I'm glad your court day is over, I know its a rough day. I didn't have to do the court thing with my 2nd divorce but I did the on the 1st one, totally grueling and emotional. I swear I was in love with my attorney by that point, lol, he was my hero through the whole process.

I've said this on another post, but it is very sad to see your final divorce papers, your whole marriage ending in one tiny packet. The word divorce written throughout, especially when we didn't want it. I often ask myself how did I end up here, but here I am, can't do a darn thing about it but go forward. Some days are tough.

Take a deep breath now and move onto the next thing that needs doing. If it's any consolation, be glad you're not stuck with the house, that is where I ended up and I don't want it, I don't want to deal with it, I don't want to pay for it, I don't want the memories that are there in every corner, I now have the chore of deciding what to do with it, that is a heavy burden to carry my friend, hopefully your transition will go smoothly.

Thanks for the update and good luck with all of your decisions. You're on your way, it's been a long journey!

Young- thanks for your words of care and encouragement!
Sorry you stuck dealing with house.

Guess what we didn't get to sign the papers last night since ran out of time. My lawyer email me that Stbx wants back out of the deal now....are you fn kidding me! All that we went through yesterday and now we deal with it more we go before the judge. More money for my lawyer!!! Ugh! Real!!

Any chance you put the settlement on the record even though you didn't sign the agreement? If so, it will be a lot harder for your husband to back out.

OMG How frustrating

what a douche he is
Not the person you loved....he is somebody different

I hope all that time was not a complete waste

hang in there

It is hard to believe how someone can become a completely different person

You are near the end
you do not want that person to be with you

The person you loved is gone

OMG - Missy the smart one - you are right he backed out!
Un-Fn--believable, I guess I wasn't very smart. I thought we were done. I never imagined he would do something like this but he has always been one to dicker with sales people. Missy you were on it. I just never...

Murphy - I don't want it to be so! It makes me cry! I feel broken. I hurt when it is a fact I won't talk to him any more. I know as time passes it gets better...blah blah...no offensive everybody but I am sure you have felt the same at one time or another....It is sucking majorly right now...

Hey more court time and money. Yeah! Not!

My lawyers last reply to Stbx lawyer "If your client wants to back out of the agreement we made yesterday, let's just set it for Pre-Trial Conference and get a trial date."

We don't go until June 1st. This is a plus in some ways gives me more time which is good since I have not found a house that I want to live in....I would have preferred being done with most of it but now here we go most likely before the judge. I just hope I don't get less then what I was going to be getting...Positive thoughts for me...

"And the beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da."

Take care everybody

Gentle hugs.