At first it does go very slowly, there's all that "history" to get through. Have you spoken to your counselor about setting up a weekly appointment? Or perhaps longer sessions?

We have a weekly Saturday appointment, but the counselor had a personal activity, so we had to skip the last Saturday. I feel like I can barely make it through one week, let alone two weeks.

We have not asked about longer sessions. I'll have to consider it.

On one hand, I don't like going to counseling because it stirs everything up and I get terribly emotionally upset. (My husband and I barely interact otherwise.) On the other hand, I want to either fix the marriage or move forward with a divorce. I hate this feeling of limbo. I have trouble concentrating at work, and it's miserable being at home around him.

I just started the process in March. We had a few weekly sessions -- for 2 weeks just when stbx hit the door. I started before that to help me with making a decision and dealing with realities of neglect, emotional abuse, etc. Now it's every 2 weeks. I'm not sure -- right now I'm impatient -- so I can't tell if it's me or the therapist's approach or schedule. Her approach is rebuildingself esteem and coping for the future and the aspects of the divorce, etc. may come up -- but not the entire focus (exccept initially when I was in denial and shock). Word is still out. I do know I'm just impatient and a lot of the hard work I'm going to continue to have to do -- is just started in the sessions but things that will take me time.

The suggestion courier on longer or more frequent sessions -- a good one (I may take that up myself).

I counseled for about a 6 month period, I would always come with an agenda, and never would we discuss anything on it. Very frustrating, but necessary. The more I counseled, everything on my agenda was eventually addressed, and when it needed to be in it's time, not mine.

we just started gogin, but aftermy H already stared things going with a request for divorce. Came out of the blue for me, so I am the one moslty in shock, etc. At first he didn't want to go to counselign, but now says he will go. We went to one session so far (as an evkauton) and will be going to couple and indiviaul counseling. I hope it helps and I am hoping and praying for reconciliation, but at the same time I have to prepare myself for the opposite. I have to at least try - right? ANd yes, ocne a week seems too slow. In fact, the day we went to counseling, the same evening he and I went to a dinner party, where his behavior was horrible, and I am now looking at him in a different light. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is unraveling. I still hope counseling will provide insight for both of us. At least it will be something I can look forward to each week. You can always seek counseling for just yourself in addition to couples. Perhaps then you will be able to talk to someone more frequently.

Thank you all for your responses.

It is always difficult when the session is over. Only a couple days to our next session, so it seems better.

Be very careful with marriage counseling, because as you said it can stir more than you would want. Don't complain or criticize it might make it worse. (personal experience).
Go for an individual counseling where you can vent and say anything and everything.
In the marriage session try to be as calm as you can...

Yaz,

You are absolutely right. Our first session started out very calmly. Then my husband started getting defensive and argumentative, and I got very upset. One of the biggest issues that I have is I believe he enjoys arguing. He will start a fight over the stupidest little things. So, the counseling session was just one more fight, and I was already passed my limit. I was very disappointed with the first session.

But at the next session, the counselor asked to meet with us separately, which was very smart. We are continuing that for now. Probably at some point, we will need to meet together, but things need to calm down and be repaired a little before that can happen.