Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My ex set up this wacky 50/50 schedule. 5 days/2days, 2 day/5 days.
It's been 3 years my boyfriend and I are confused which weekends he here. All I know is he's here Mon. and Tues., with his dad Wed. and Thurs.
Weekends, I have no clue. He works most weekends at a restaurant, so even when he's here, he's not home until 11, long after I'm in bed.
He will be 18 in a few months, still has Sr. year ahead of him, but he will get to decide his schedule.
He's supposed to be here this weekend, hasn't shown up, but, was mowing lawn at my ex's rental property next door. My ex has sent me e-mails regarding expenses he has regarding our son, but has stopped paying me for his monthly investment account, cell phone, i-tunes, and netflix. He even went so far as to charge me to take care of our son when I went on vacation.
My boyfriend is fuming (he knew my ex before our divorce). He thinks I should give him a bill in return. I just want to put my marriage behind me.
Any ideas on what to do?
It's been 3 years my boyfriend and I are confused which weekends he here. All I know is he's here Mon. and Tues., with his dad Wed. and Thurs.
Weekends, I have no clue. He works most weekends at a restaurant, so even when he's here, he's not home until 11, long after I'm in bed.
He will be 18 in a few months, still has Sr. year ahead of him, but he will get to decide his schedule.
He's supposed to be here this weekend, hasn't shown up, but, was mowing lawn at my ex's rental property next door. My ex has sent me e-mails regarding expenses he has regarding our son, but has stopped paying me for his monthly investment account, cell phone, i-tunes, and netflix. He even went so far as to charge me to take care of our son when I went on vacation.
My boyfriend is fuming (he knew my ex before our divorce). He thinks I should give him a bill in return. I just want to put my marriage behind me.
Any ideas on what to do?
When your ex starts getting so controlling that he isn't paying things he apparently was supposed to pay or split with you, then I wouldn't be giving him any money for what he wants. It works both ways.
When your son turns 18, I would let your son decide who he wants to live with and if he wants to stick with this visitation schedule. Or if he wants to go live out on his own.
My ex only moved 2 blocks away, so it's easier for him to go back and forth, and close to school.
Since my ex is so close and owns the rental property next door, he keeps up with the neighbors.
He told my neighbors that a stomach problem my son has is because of the divorce and my boyfriend. He has had this since he was 5. After many Dr. visits, he gets performance anxiety. My ex knows this. My son is a talented athlete, and has been performing in competitions (gymnastics, bowling, track.) And, stresses. I'm sure the divorce stressed him, but he also realized it took both of us. He also realizes my boyfriend makes me happy, something he told me he hadn't seen in a long time.
I don't know why ex is being the way he is.
My son asked me to schedule his Sr. pictures. He wanted to do some unique pictures, but ex told him no. He also told son he needed a hair cut, shave, what to wear, etc. As to why son wanted me to do this.
I'm trying not to make waves, but it feels like we are in a battle for our son, and I don't want that.
After 3 yrs divorced, 5 yrs separated, he still holds this anger.
This is totally a problem with your ex. If you want to put your marriage behind you, I would not listen to the ex and concentrate more on your son. I wouldn't send your ex a bill, and instead I would ignore him totally and let him rage to himself.
Your ex is seeing his control come to an end with your son reaching 18 and is just whining non stop and trying to put the proverbial "sticks in the wheel of the bicycle" to try to cause problems, to cause upset, and scream I'm the boss-- but none of it is working and you guys are putting him in the rear view mirror. Your ex is very unhappy, but that's the path he has chosen in life so he gets to live with those consequences.
You guys form a good relationship and stay happy and live a good life. Take care and hugs.
I'm trying my best to bite my lip. Trying my best to do what is right for my son, and trying not to let his father's limitations irritate me outwardly. Maybe because I faked a "happy" marriage for too long, it's easy for me to fake my feelings for his dad.
It's not in my character to send him a bill. I'm not tit for tat, never was.
My son goes to the same religious school I went to. What's nice, I get along, or went to HS with most of the faculty. Most understand our situation, and commend me on my attitude.
My marriage was over, and I was over it long ago.
My boyfriend jokes that the weight I've lost, the home improvement projects, the positive improvements bothers my ex. I know they do because I am very close friends with one of his co-workers, and we laugh at comments ex makes.
Thing is, he makes these comments, and they become truth to the people who don't know me. And, my son works every once in a while there, so he's hearing this.
I'm just looking forward to his graduation. Ex has expressed that he wants to move back to his home state to take care of his mother. He's just waiting to make sure our son is in college. Sr. year can't pass fast enough.
I thought the divorce was bad, but it's the aftermath that is killing me.