Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My break up is very new and it hurts so much. It is very confusing working through this grief. I feel like I am doing the work. I have read some books and am doing the healing exercises and being true to myself. I am doing as much self care as I can. I have moments where I feel like I am going to be ok and I have so hope for my future and then I find myself thinking about the love I just lost and the loss is huge. The love we had was so special. Our connection was like no other I have experienced and it felt so right and I miss those moments so much. I worked so hard to make him happy and worked on the issues I had that contributed to the fighting/problems. I kept the faith that our love would pull us through the rough patch we were stuck in. I was a big cheerleader for what we could be. After a while it started to wear me down. I was not receiving the effort I was giving. It felt unbalance. At first I not only felt like my huge efforts weren't enough but that I was pathetic. I now have changed that story in my mind. I am good enough but maybe not for him and I was not pathetic by expressing my truth. I feel like I did everything in my power. Even in the end I expressed to him my truth which is that I love him and even though I am deeply hurt I only wish him the best and I will miss him. I have no regrets but I am hurting. This is not the result I wanted. I am confused, sad, hurt and so disappointed.
Healing is a process that is definitely not linear. It goes up/down, forward/back, zigs/zags, and round in circles. Plus it tends to recycle. It is at this point that we have to trust the process, put one foot in front of the other, making tiny baby steps, all the while honoring where we are in each moment by allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is and honoring it w/o judgment.
I applaud you for standing in, and expressing, your truth. It will help to remind yourself that you did all you could and that you are not responsible for his happiness. He is.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things, even if it feels like its not helping right now. It will. One day you will wake up and realize that you hadn't thought about him at all the day before.
What you're feeling right now is normal. Sucky, but normal. Just hang in there. It really does get better.
~healing hugs~