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confused, pregnant and alone

klh278
klh278

Hi


I am 30yrs old my husband of 4yrs partner of 10yrs left me 6 weeks ago when I was 6 months pregnant with our second child. I don't know what to do anymore I really want our family back together, he has said he will give marriage counselling a go because he wants to be a family but he doesn't think he can love me.


I am feeling very hurt and used and I can't work out if he is just manipulating me to get what he wants. I am now feeling like he has just been using me this whole time. We have a successful chain of butcher shops, he is obviously the butcher but I am the one who has given him the business knowledge. I feel like he just kept me around long enough to create his success and have the two children that he wanted. He said he hasn't loved me for years but I just don't know what kind of man could get a woman pregnant if he didn't love her and then leave her before the baby even arrives (baby was his idea)


He doesn't want to do the current exercise our therapist has given us because it feels forced, I just don't know how he expects anything to change if he doesn't try which leads me back to thinking he is manipulating me.


He says he hasn't left me for someone else but I have very strong suspicions otherwise. I don't want to feel anything for him anymore because I feel like I have lost sight of my own value as a person but I just don't seem to be able to let go

Aronia
Aronia
Ugh, that's a really terrible thing to do.... I can't imagine.
You sure have a monster task in front of you to deal with - suddenly becoming a single parent. Well, he can go and leave, but from the very start please make sure that he is held to his obligations as a father to his children if he can't handle being a husband.
Even if you reconcile, please go see a Lawrence immediately. You are going to need some help from the law system to enforce things for the sake of your kids.
You are going to get through this... I know you want your family back, but I m not sure I would let him back in so quickly after what he just pulled.
Hugs
mirandac
mirandac
There have been others that the spouse left while
they Were Pregnant. They want out and with really
no concern except about themselves, the financials
and possibly the children.

He sounds like a checked out spouse and he probably
Has Someone new and he wants to move on. I would
move forward and talk to a good divorce lawyer.

I think there are many Of us that feel fooled and betrayed
some STBX are worse than others.

If he is an Emotional manipulator they usually don't
Improve. I would keep up with your therapy just for
yourself, join a divorce care group. Keep reaching
Out to loving caring supportive people. Post on here
Often it helps a lot to vent.

I am sorry for all your pain and hurt, HUGS
nanacarol
nanacarol
He may just be scared. I think it's a good sign he is at least willing to try therapy even if he doesn't always participate or cooperate. Keep going, even if he doesn't. It's a hard thing to do, but sometimes just making a choice to just be happy and cheerful and not negative around someone can go a long way. Helping relieve the tension between people. Being the best you know how to be for you and your little ones is your first priority. If in your heart you want to keep trying to keep your family together then keep trying.
bakerjackie321
bakerjackie321
When he says he doesn't think he can love you I agree with him. However it is not because of you. People forget besides the noun love that describes the feeling you have there is the verb love that is more important. Loving you would mean honoring the commitment and sacrifice you made by using your body to carry a child-You loved him. Being willing to do what the marriage counselor suggested because you need him to make an effort would be loving you-you are loving him by giving him the chance to do this exercise. He says he hasn't loved you in years and I believe that is true because he sounds like a selfish jerk. In the movie Boomerang there is a scene where Eddie Murphy cheats on his girlfriend and she dumps him. He pleads I love you and she says, "Love should have brought your a** home last night." She was right on. Set your standards higher and demand that someone verb love you and these takers will get out of the way and you will find a nice guy who will love you in all ways. Hang in there.
Mariah
Mariah
I am 5 months pregnant and my my boyfriend of nine years has left me after realising he doesn't want 'me' or a baby, it's been so hard and I feel your pain. What is getting me through it all is a book I found online called Abandoned Pregnant by Kandy Dolor who was abandoned pregnant twice. She also has an Instagram page with amazing memes for single pregnant women and a blog www.kandydolor.com with articles full of emotional support and different situations all to do with being dumped pregnant she even responds to DM's. I highly recommend you find her online, your days will feel brighter.