I posted about a year and a half ago regarding my wife asking for a divorce after 5 years of marriage. After talking about it, I got her to agree on a separation. She initially wanted the divorce but realized that separating made sense. We have two young twin boys and we both thought that maybe the time away would help the relationship. Long story short, we grew apart, being parents became our number one priority (which should be) and couldn’t find the balance to continue being husband and wife while being parents. 

 After a year and a half of separation we both have talked and both agreed that the relationship is better. At the same time, she refuses to talk into more depth about our future. I have asked her about us and she states that she has too much on her plate to think about it ( she has a very demanding job and we are in the process of selling the house). She doesn’t make our relationship one her priorities, which is ok. We are separated, right? Yet, she still says that she doesn’t want to finalize the divorce.  She says that she is confused on what she wants to do. 

I’ve always said that I don’t want to be the one that asks for the divorce or the finalization of it. I feel that, for my kids sake, I will keep trying as long as I can to make our family whole again. But, it’s hard and it’s starting to weigh on me. It’s exhausting and I’m extremely confused on what I should do. I know that I should be working on myself (which I have been and will continue to) and should only worry about the things I can control, but’s it’s been a year and a half. Am I ridiculous to think that there is still a chance? Should I continue to try because I dont want to deprive my kids in having an unbroken home? Should I move on and risk the chance of reconciling? I know it takes two to make this work. But, there are times when she seems to be trying and then there are times it seems she isn’t. It’s just confusing.