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Confrontation update

Getstronger
Getstronger

Ok I was on here a  while ago asking about confronting a stbx s lover ,well it happened out of the blue yesterday .The piece of s#@ (won't call  him a man) was walking towards my job , iwas walking to my car trying to ignore him but he made a point of walking and. looking in my direction. so I had some words with him,won't type them here !! any way long story short  I was so  close to hitting him  but refrained from it .  as  We say in Ireland I softened his cough!! :-) my ex wasn't impressed with it .so she told my my son and daughter about it oh and my mother. I have been up to now not wanting to talk to my kids any details about their business 


 But I feel now that I should say something to defend my actions,they don't know that he lives  Across the road from my job or  that this s#!@ ,has been grinning and waving at me .They are still together after 10  months but my  kids don't want  to meet him ,just  wanted advice on weather to tell my kids my version to defend my outburst ,didn't use any   violence  wanoted to but glad I didn't.My kid's are 17 ,20 .

akacountrygirl
akacountrygirl
I would say that he has been giving you a hard time but do not put him down in front of them. They are old enough to figure things out and will defend you without giving them all the details.
jimthzz
jimthzz
he sounds like a wuss if he has told your ex and the ex tells the kids.

If the kids need to know anything, just say you defended yourself from on offensive situation not of your choosing.
jojored
jojored
Perfect wording jimthzz. If the kids want more detail, you can provide a little insight. It sounds somewhat harrassing that he's grinning and waving at you. I just would just try to be neutral, "just the facts, madam".
Getstronger
Getstronger
I'm not sure what his motives are feels like he is baiting me to hit him! I nearly did but didn't, I'm glad now because I think he wants to make me out to be a out of control thug so my ex can tell my family and kids .Well I'm not goin to rise to his bait .he's welcome to her.thanks everyone .
1Daatatime
1Daatatime
I can relate. When I suspected my STBX was cheating I tapped into her GPS and located where she was. Middle of nowhere and the property was surrounded by barbed wire and locked gates. The house was 3/4 mile back. I hopped the fence and started walking. Half way there I thought, "What's going to be the outcome?" At best just a recriminating stare into her eyes and worst a knock down drag out with her lover. I thought do I really want to end up in jail (I was trespassing) for some one who doesn't love me anymore? I turn around.
1Daatatime
1Daatatime
Nothing wrong with a little anger as long as it doesn't go too far. You took the high road. Physical violence never solves a problem (but it sure feels good sometime). From one Mick to another.

When it all gets to be too much and I fall apart I refer to that as my Irish leaking out.
Getstronger
Getstronger
Hey 1dayatatime
You can take the man out of Ireland but you can't take the
Irish out of him!! :-)