Your post spoke to my heart and I too had similar experiences and it did leave me also with no coping skills and was having disastrous results in my relationships. For me, the turning point came when I realized I had been so focused on trying to make everyone else happy (which is impossible) that I had lost myself in the process. One of the best things that helped me was in reaching out and forming new relationships/friendships and re-learning what it was that I liked, getting to know what is it that makes me happy, what do I enjoy? In this process I learned several new things about myself and I learned a few new hobbies I could do by myself and it greatly strengthened me from the inside out. I don't know if any of this will help, but know I can understand what you're feeling and I believe you can come back much better and stronger. I wish you the very best.

Awesome...Just aweome

I found your post insightful and I can relate to a lot of it. I too came from dysfunctional family and I generally go into the pleasing mode in relationships and of course that means picking spouses that are addicts, emotionally unavailable etc.

I think with friendships it should be a 2 way street. I have had a few good friends for almost 40 years and sometimes they dump on me and sometimes I dump on them. Other friends I have had, I seem to be there for them and they tend to be more selfish and it does leave you depleted.

I think it is great you are looking at stuff as that is how we change. I really get that we don't have good role models and I have been thinking about that too. I just don't know how normal healthy people react sometimes in a relationship. I think one key is kindness.

I hope you have a great year and things get better for you in the friendship area, sounds like you are a good friend to them but perhaps need a new pal that is funny and gives back somewhat. all the best