That was the most devestating for me. After 18 years, when another woman came into the picture, I was lost. I still am... And I don't want to loose it in front of my daughter, but I am truly devestated. I know how you are feeling.... It is the worst. But I have started therapy, and joined the gym. Anything to make me feel better....

You don't stay strong for you daughter's, you show them how much it hurts.

You cry in front of them, you let them know you are sad. You talk with them about how you feel in an appropriate way for whatever age they are.

If you hide it, and try to be strong you are teaching them that they should hide their feelings.

My kids were 8 and 10, they saw me cry, they saw me staring off into space.

but they also saw me heal, which your will too

(((HUGS))) this is a hard journey but with time you will be ok

I am sorry that you are going through this. I have little girls, too. Ironically, when my wife told our children that she and I were separating, that alone made me stronger and steeled my resolve. Our children were devastated. Hurting ME was one thing, but hurting our children? That told me my wife was lost deep in the weeds and not coming back to reality any time soon.

#2's reply is provocative, and not something I had considered before. I'm not entirely sure what I think about showing children how much it hurts, but there may be some wisdom to it - particularly showing them that it is possible to heal from being hurt. Maybe you don't need to be "strong" for your girls, but you do need to be their rock - that is, the site of consistency and security.

In any case, never bash your husband to your kids. Never belittle him or tell your kids how rotten he is. In time, they'll figure it out themselves.

Hugs and best of luck to you.

That's the worst feeling. Scream if you feel like it, cry when you need to. You will be playing different scenarios over and over trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I'm not sure if you want to get details as you will endure more pain. We are here for you. You are in good company. Hugs.

Sorry for your situation - and very interesting outlook on coping. I am glad my mother was a trooper and managed to hold it down - even when dying w/pancreatic cancer. I get my coping skills from her. She loved life no matter who was in it or what was going on. Took notice of the trees, birds, waterfalls, etc. Maybe you want to try to do the same? I know it's awful when people betray us - but all we can do is cope, wish them well and let them go.

Seek to do things that will keep your mind off your situation even if for 5 minutes - lean on family and friends and seek therapy. It may not seem like you'll manage right now, but you will.

Wishing you peace.

Me Cello I guess I should clarify, I don't mean show your kids 100% of your pain.

But I beleive its okay for them to see you cry and hurting.

I would cry in the shower and in the car on the way to work everyday for three months. I tried not to in front of the kids very often.

But at times you just can't hold it in, and I cried in front of the kids.

My therapist said it was like a death in the family, you wouldn't not cry over your grandmother's death, so why would you hide the death of a marriage.

I also found that when the kids saw me hurting they opened up more about the hurt they were feeling. My daughter would come to my bed at night, and tell me she just needed a good cry.

No way my kids new 100% the horrific pain I felt, but they knew I was sad.

I agree you have to be their rock, and support them 100%. My kids new they could tell me anything and I would just listen.

I never said a bad word about their dad , and I listened to their fears.

@Mom: No need to clarify. I understood what you meant - and I guessed that you wouldn't show the kids 100% of your pain. What you are saying makes a lot of sense and really resonates with me. Thanks.

I know how you feel right now. I had the same situation two years ago. When I found out another woman, I was so devastated that I wanted to kill myself. I went through therapy, and exercising. I know it is really hard but you will do better. Trust me! We are here for you. Hugs...