Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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jackiejolie 10/23/2013

Hey everyone,

I haven't been on here in a week or two, just been laying low and trying to get on with my life one day at a time.

I've realised something about myself and was just wondering if anyone else has found this or could help explain why this happens... Looking back and analysing myself I've decided that my self esteem and view of myself is directly linked to the man in my life at the time.. Be it a boyfriend, date, lover etc. I find myself becoming insecure inside when their interest isn't peaked.

I hate this about myself. I wanna be confident regardless of what people think of me. Went on a date or two recently with a nice guy and if I find some days we don't chat I feel like "well, he's lost interest" and feel those old feelings of rejection surface.

Just hopin to understand this more and maybe break this bad habit!

deleted_user 10/23/2013

Have you ever read up on Codependancy? Its a horrible way to live, because you are so tightly strung to their every emotion, you are on a constant rollercoaster and it makes you peace of mind and your own happiness either nonexistent or very very fragile. BTW< WELCOME back chica. I missed u. BIG SQUEEZE. PS. you have to see the value in yourself or no one else will. Well, I do, but you know what I mean. :)

wiggywango 10/23/2013

Yes, it is codependency. Try picking up a self help book on the subject that will give you some tools to change the behaviour.

deleted_user 10/23/2013

This is also why we long for a family and friends support, self esteem sinks with a break up/divorce regardless of direct link to the specific man and even more with.

amandarobe 10/23/2013

I feel exactly the same way and that is why my divorce has almost killed me. I put all my eggs in one basket. I made him my entire world. All of my emotions and my well being were dependent on him. I know without a doubt that it is codependency and I'm working really hard to improve myself. I don't want to get into another relationship where that person is responsible for my emotions. I want to be confident and strong enough to be ok no matter whether someone stays or leaves. I highly recommend the book "Codependent No More". Here's a hug for you ((((Jackie))))). I hope you find peace within yourself, sweetie.

deleted_user 10/23/2013

Through my own reflection I know that I have fallen into codependency as well.....the self confidence I used to have has escaped me and I have to find it once again.

While two should become one, you have to be able to stand for yourself and not fall into a pattern of relying solely on another.

Prayers go out to you....

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