Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Coming up on three years...

mammytiller
mammytiller
Its coming up on three years since my divorce was finalized, and I love him more than ever. I realize that I did not do my part in the relationship. He has been in and out of relationships, but he has been with his current girlfriend for 4 months. She looks so much like me. I just have no desire to be with anyone, but him. He has been so loving and caring, and he has even tried on several occasions (when he was not in a relationship) to seduce me, but I was afraid because I still loved him and was afraid to be hurt again. Anybody else feels like this after this long?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No can't say I have, sorry I can't relate. I can't stand my ex and glad to be out of that situation. Probably you do because he was a decent person to you? Now do you realize how much you love him since the divorce? Sometimes I think we look back and think maybe we made a mistake by divorcing. Maybe you are having regrets right now. I don't know, can't really say, only you know. I'm just assuming this is why you feel this way. I think I would stay away from the seduction part too; it probably isn't the best thing to get into since you still have feelings for him. Like you said, you don't want to get hurt.
mammytiller
mammytiller
I know. That is why I made the decision not to be seduced by him. I thought I was in a better place because he has gone through a lot of girlfriends. When I was alone with him, I could tell that he is still attracted to me, but he could hardly speak to me. I started the conversation, and he seemed more at ease. When we divorced, it was mutual. We had a discussion that day that we both felt that we might find our way back to each other somewhere down the road. I thought that it would have taken longer because there was some bad things going on in our relationship toward the end. He was drinking alot, and I was somewhat self absorbed in my pain and health problems. We have both changed, although he was drinking a lot with his new girl. I just cannot seem to do anything but think about it. I just know that I have been trying to go back to our town for the past 6 months or so to tell him how I feel, and unfortunately my job was too overwhleming. I just hope that I have another chance some day.
yendh
yendh
I'm sorry, I don't really understand the situation. He tried to seduce you, but he has still gone through a lot of girlfriends?? And when you both has difficulty in starting a conversation, so what is the attraction between you?

As my understanding, love includes the part of sharing, sharing about everything, from big to very silly things; and it is often through the conversation.

I don't know how you were hurt. But you said you don't want it anymore. So, you need to think really carefully whether he can hurt you again.

There's a thing that Mark (a member on DS) once told me, and I always remember it:
"Any amount of abuse is too much."