Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Morning all. just thought I would check in.
Im doing better now. The constant crying has stopped , although it does catch me out sometimes at odd moments.
I have moved into a new place with my daughter and we both enrol at University today! yay! The journey begins.
As for HIM.
Well, last night my youngest daughter (15 lives with her Dad and visisted me at weekends) was trying to get her laptop to work better so was running some virus checkers etc. She looked at the browsing history. My EX had been looking up escort services and lesbian porn. I am flabbergasted. It doesnt give a date but says 6+ months ago, so this would make it Feb/March time this year. The interesting thing is that when I asked him about it he said it was two months ago ( and we were still together then) She has had the laptop at her Dads house for three months so thats a lie right there. So when I mentioned to him about it he said he was searching on the sites to see if I was working as a prostitute. WTF! Charming.
So there we are, at the beginning of the year I had just started my business and he was pretty much at my office every day and he knew exactly where I was and when. I remember he took a photo of my diary on my desk once.
So the realisation that this is one sick unhealthy person is slowly filtering down. I am shocked. I was a good wife, even if I was unhappy. He never once suggested we talk or try and work on things. He has also hinted that if he doesnt agree with the comments on the divorce paperwork he wont accept it. sigh. I tried to put things which he couldnt argue with but I guess he will anyway. Silly me, I should have played that differently!
Anyway all okay here, I feel like Im coming out of the fog.
Glad that you're doing better. Keep moving forward. Hugs.
Spent the day with him, I meant to just pack and sort my stuff out at our old house but I let him distract me with lunch and a walk, he held my hand and we talked it was lovely then BOOM Disvalue and Discard kicked in! Cant believe I let it happen again. Cross with myself, and upset.
Well after a little chat with HIM he says he knew I was an Escort Girl when we met. Someone told him at the dance we were at he says and he has lived with the niggling thought for the last 4 years we have been together. So he thought he was rescuing a hooker eh. Bit of a Pretty Woman type of thing….
I am just flabbergasted. I go from being completely insulted and then to horror of the last four years.
But it makes so much sense, with the way he used to treat me. The sexual abuse, the marital rape, the treating me like I don't exist, just a thing to amuse him and make him look 'normal'.
I really believe he thought that about me. It makes sense on so many levels.
or am I just being naive again?!
are we all just prostitutes to them? He just used me.
YUK.
To think of when we first were intimate he made me have a bath before he would be intimate with me, it was odd at the time. He wanted to make sure I was clean…. like I was dirty! He insisted I went to the doctor and had an HIV test and other tests… I just thought he was being overly cautious but now it makes sense if he thought I was a hooker… oh gawd and then theres the time he just jumped off me in the middle of sex and went for a shower, so degrading….
CRINGE