Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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K8tlyn820 02/13/2017

I'm finding I'm coming here a lot more to talk about how I feel and read everyone's stories. I am seeing a therapist to help cope with my divorce, and to help me eventually work on myself, but it seems like each week between appointments feels like months. It hasn't even been a month since this all happened. All of the Valentine's Day adds are not helping get my mind off of things. We've been separated for 3 weeks. It still is hard to grasp that before then we saw and talked everyday. In a three week span, I have seen my husband all of 5 minutes when I was getting some of my things, and we have spoken less than 20 minutes. It's still hard for me because we were best friends, we talked about everything. I've been having a hard time sleeping. I keep having dreams about him, and all the memories we've experienced. Last night I was dreaming that all the memories we've had together, there was someone else in my place. When my husband left me, and then days later asked for a divorce, he said there wasn't anyone else, and he wasn't having an affair. I don't know if I'll ever know the truth, that I even want to know the truth. I told him I would leave the filing up to him ( partially because I hope that he would change his mind even though I know that will not happen) and because we do not have children or property together. Although we have been together for 6 years, it has only been one year of marriage. I thought we were going to build a home, have a family, become parents. That's at least the way our conversations were heading. Instead he told me he was feeling this way for a while and was trying to sort through his feelings. I find myself just sitting and waiting, wondering when it will all happen, when will I get the divorce papers? I know everyone's relationship is different and everyone's grieving happens in it's own way, but I just wonder how long it will be before I feel okay again. I am heart broken. How long will it be before I Stop having these dreams that feel like nightmares. And even though I will not allow myself to do it, how long it will be until I don't miss him and want to talk I him.

mirandac 02/13/2017

I am glad you are opening up, separation and divorce
Are just something to get thru. Its brutal in every way
Possible. The healing can start after the divorce and
decree are in place. Even then you need lots of support
To get there with your sanity still on board.

I went to therapy and divorce care both helped a lot
And keep reaching out on here. The grieving process
Is pretty bad. There is no easy or quick way thru that
Except face it, process it and deal with it and hopefully
Let it go. Now is a good time to have faith and maybe
Get involved in church at least it was for me.

I had trouble at night because i was trying to detach
From him. That takes time and hopefully no contact
After the divorce if you have no children. None of this
Is quick. Healing yourself and your heart takes time
And hard inner work. HUGS

ripped_my_heartout 02/13/2017

I feel for you. Going through this is tough on everyone here. We are all at different stages but one thing in common we have is we all share the same pain, betrayal, grief, heartache and the sleepless nights. And it takes time to heal. This is a time we get to work on ourselves and make ourselves better people. The hope I have is that we will all lead better lives from this point on because of this. There is no set time, everyone is different. Look after yourself, plenty of rest and excercise will help even though it may seem hard to do. You can get through this. You have great support here but I recommend finding a support group or therapist in your area. This is a great deal of help for people. Stay strong.
-HUGS-

tailspin916 02/13/2017

How long will it be until you feel okay again? It depends, everyone heals at a different pace. As for me. it took about 7 months for me to feel like myself again. Even after a year of not being together, I would still have the occasional bad days when I truly miss her and the times we spent together. At times I would drive home from work and start choking up and fighting to hold back the tears. I would have frequent dreams about her and the great times we had, waking up thinking she would be by my side. Again, this is about a year after she left. The pain was made even worse when 6 months ago she came back into my life, saying she was wrong and truly wanted to work things out again. I, still being in love with her took her back. All of a sudden, this past Friday, she sent me a text telling me she wanted to end our relationship again. Now I am going through the same pain all over again. Hopefully, I will take less time to heal this time around.

I wouldn't put a time frame on when you will start feeling better, just know that eventually you will.

Take care and major hugs to you.

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