Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey everyone. Well I hope everyone had a beautiful Monday and full of strength and smiles. Too much to ask maybe, but remember it is all up to us.
I am dedicating this post to a friend of mine who is struggling with her breakup. I talk to her daily and try to get her through the day but it is hard. Hey we have all been there right? I know first hand how hard it is and how much pain we can take that it literally feels like our heart is breaking and our world is spinning.
So how do we get closure? Can we get closure from the ones that hurt us? Can we get closure from our exes? Will they really want to give it to us?
Ladies if you were dating an asshole then the answer is NO. Guys if you were dating a bitch then the answer is NO as well. LOL. Sorry but the reason we left these exes are probably because they were no good and were hurting us. If that is the case then they have probably not changed and will not help us in our healing and will probably only hurt us even furthur and play with our feelings just to fill their egos.
Remember these words: The people that hurt us can NOT give us hope, heal us, or give us closure. That all comes from ourselves. We pick up the broken pieces they left behind by ourselves and heal them. We grow stronger in the process. We find hope in our new aqcuired strength as we heal and move forward AWAY FROM THEM. Last but not least we give ourselves closure by realizing once and for all we are better off without them and what they do, did, or will do is NOT our problem. We finally become free from their chains which we have created in our minds ourselves in our suffering and obsession with people who are not worth it.
Hate is a chain which binds us just as much as love does. Hate is a good thing to help you heal but remember to also let go of the hate and let go of them altogether. Part of getting closure is to let them go from our lives, hearts and minds, fully. Closure means we CLOSE the chapter. We CLOSE the book altogether and open up a new one to write a better story where we are the main protagonist and the story's hero or heroine. Use hate at the beginning to move on and away from them. Let go of hate and let in all the love in the world for YOU to let go 100%
Remember that for all this to be done, NO CONTACT is very important. It truly is the best way to go. It allows us to let go, to heal, to focus on us, to grow as an individual and best of all to do it faster.
Well those are my two cents for today. Love you all and hope you all have an amazing week. I am off to play barbies with my daughter. She doesn't want to watch a movie with me so I guess I have to become a daddy princess for a while. LOL
BTW if anyone ever needs a helping hand I will very humbly be there for you. Just let me know and PM me. I can at least lend a ear to hear you out. Just never bottle anything in. It is so damaging.
LindaMarie> I guess the best way is to chain your mind. There is a Buddhist story where a very happy man had a monkey chained and the monkey was so mischievous that he wanted to break that chain to do crazy things. So the monkey came up with a plan. He started giving the man precious things and the man became obsessed with these things so much that he let go of the monkey as long as he got these precious gifts. Then the monkey was finally free and took control of the man through the illusion he created in the man's mind that he needed these precious gifts in his life.
Finally the man realized he did not need them and opened his eyes. He saw his house torn apart and the monkey as king.... He was afraid of him.
The meaning of this story is this> We are in charge of our own mind and health and body until someone comes and changes our reality. Then we create an illusion to think we need this person or these feelings to be happy. The truth is we were doing just fine before they came along so it really is just an illusion in our mind. We have let a monkey loose in our heads. Now each time we try to chain it, he feeds us memories or thoughts and we cower to him like a king again.
WE are stronger than this. If a thought comes into my mind I smile at it like it was a monkey trying to control me. Like a mischievous child playing a mean prank. I smile and see it for what it is, NOTHING but a thought. I have a million of these a day. Why would this ONE thought of my ex control me and my feelings? Let alone my whole day and emotional health.
Don't give a single thought the power it doesn't have. You have to be stronger than that. Once you realize this and practice it everyday it will become an unconscious habit.