hello I wish I was as strong as you, my relationship with my husband was 13 years 10 years bf/gf 2 and half years married, but I try no contact rule but it is so hard for me I try but I guess not hard enough I reply to his emails and I know it is wrong, he wants the divorce I do too but I love him still even if he was neglecting me and verbally abuse me putting me down calling me names,but I took it from him even if he has issues like a meth head. I am just venting sorry to bother you .help me please be strong.

It's hard. a work friend invited me to eat Christmas lunch with her and her family. What I didnt know was it would be at her sister's house and that her sister lives around the corner from where I lived with my then husband. He now lives there with my replacement.
Sometimes I wonder if it is even possible to be totally free from him.

bittychonch, I and jaclyn1973. I hate that you have had to go through this. Hell, that ANYONE has to feel such pain. I don't feel like I am in a place to advise anyone but I am on many f these forums to see differing opinions. If you look at my other topic post, you will see that whilst I did not contact him, after 6 months of nc he emailed out of the blue. Rather than stay strong and ignore it I chose this time to tell him how shit he had been. I cant compare yo you bittychonch and I feel bad that I moan so much when you have had to endure abuse etc. My ex was never abusive. Just rather selfish. He dumped me out of nowhere etc (as I said check the other post)
Anyhoo, he apologized and asked to be friends. I asked him to leave me alone a while. Whilst I can't stand the though of never seeing him again, I can't just be his friend. He was my first everything and I gave my heart entirlery. Only to find out he threw that away for his own insecurity and fear. jacelyn1973, I get the same too. My friends were his too. Whenever I come home everything reminds me of him. When I am out and about different places, movies, music etc makes me think of him. I think we can be free eventually. It is taking the familiar and replacing it with happier memories (it must be possible!)
I used to moan about people going back to bad relationships and ask why they would? But now that I have been put in this situation that most people say to walk away from, it's not so black and white.
No one has the right to make you feel inferior bittychonch. It sucks and again, I am not in a place to tell you what you can do. But by coming to sites like this, talking to people etc you are trying. People tell me theres someone better out there. I don't know if there is although there must be good people. And we are good people that deserve to be treated right. In the end it is your choice alone. Just remmber that although you love him, you must love yourself more.

Sorry for the long post guys! Thank you for talking. Here's hoping 2014 bring better times, the strength to do what is best for us, and maybe in time heal our hearts.

Mines still hurts. I'm still confused. But I fought so hard to keep what I loved. He didn't and I know he won't find another like me.

Going on 3 weeks of absolutely no contact. Hanging strong. I'm not sure if he will ever get in touch with me about being friends. I've been pretty clear to him that I dont have friends who lie to me and cheat on me. I dont want to be friends. I dont want to be pulled in to the chaos of his life. This is a small town. Hard to totally avoid him. But I told him. Just walk on by.
In the new year, I plan to join a bowling league and get back in church and do some other things. Meet new people, spread my wings more, get out of my comfort zone more.

Good going jaclyn1973

I'm still conflicted and trying to get on. As I had said, He had contacted me before christmas (all noted in my other forum post) and I didn't know what to do besides tell him how he hurt me. He apologised ad asked to be friends as he cares for and respects me etc. But I can't do that. I can't be less than what I was. To have "the new improved him" give that to someone else. I don't deserve such pain. I asked him to leave me alone as I didn't know what to do. But I do know I'm not the one that kept photos. I blocked him from facebook. So he admitted he's been looking on the internet and my pinterest regularly (to" see if I was ok"). I'm not asking all his friends what he's up to and I didn't email him out the blue and confuse the hell out of him. I don't intend to reply. I did all the fighting for what I thought was important. He didn't. I'm not putting myself out there again.
It's just the strength to let continue on. Words mean little to me and I doubt very much if he wanted to, he would go out of his way to prove himself.