Yep - just sit as far apart as possible. If you do have to mingle, be pleasant, but don't linger. Things smooth out after a while.

I am glad you have some support there, but with your mom being so angry, do you think she will be able to keep her composure when she see's your stbx? If not, you need to have that talk with her. Just like you know what you have to do, (sit on the other side of the church, limit your activity with your stbx or her family, etc.), anyone who is there to support you needs to follow your lead. I am not saying she wont, I don't know your mom, but usually moms are really protective and sometimes feel they can say what they want when they want to. :)

Just remember you are there for your daughter and you need to keep that wall between you and your stbx and family so not to put yourself in a situation that may not turn out well.

Its your daughters night, just keep saying it and remember it.

much luck

Have not been down your road but I would stay as far away as possible, only speak when support group is around, and get in and out quickly and quietly. And I agree with ChiTownBear..........they need to follow your lead. Keep your focus on your daughter.

Much luck

Just a thought, your daughter may want to see your STBX and you together after the Pagaent because she will be excited and so proud of herself.

Steel yourself and keep your mom across the room and remember as you said before, this is about your daughter and she will be bubbling over with happiness. Tell her how wonderful she was and how much you love her and hug her and those are the times she will keep with her and always remember.

As she grows, she'll know the stories told to her were false, but when she sees you, she will remember how loving you were when she saw you each time and know that you never talked bad about any relatives. You will come out looking great. Many hugs.

I know it's really hard, but it's so important to your kids to forge a decent relationship with the STBX. My parents divorced when I was 17 because my dad was a total ass. I knew it at the time. He worked his shit out and is much different now. Although there was much animosity when they divorced, there is none of that now, that I can readily see. I know my mom doesn't think much of him and is resentful at how he left her destitute, but they are able to be in the same room, sit together at my kids events, and even joke around with each other. They've even had dinner together with my family. It makes it so much easier on me, as the child, that they can get along for my sake. Please think of your kids when dealing with him.

Just an update. I went to the church service with my mother and step-father. We sat on the opposite side of the church.

When it was time for the pageant (we had it instead of a sermon) the kids came in, and my daughter was all dressed up and beautiful. She looked around some, but she never saw us.

After the church service I looked for her to give her a hug and tell her what a great job she did, but I couldn't find her. I think my stbx was hiding with her. I didn't see her parents at all (maybe they weren't there, but that would have surprised me). Maybe it was for the better, my mom didn't want to run into her and actually waited by the door when I looked in a couple places for them (and ran into a friend I had to greet).

I called my daughter about 30 mins later at my ex's place and told her how good she did.

I think after the divorce is final and the bickering about money and maintenance and such is in the past it will be easier to have to be around my former spouse and her family. It can't happen too soon.

I'm so glad you called her and that way she knows you were there. I'm also glad you got to see her and that's the great stuff in life!!

By all means attend. Sit where you can be seen by her (or make a point of making your presence known so she sees you). Leave right after the pageant, and send her a text or note that tells her how wonderful the performance was and how you and gramma loved it. I say this because my ex was invited to my son's wedding and was told specifically to do this and he chose to confront my kids at the wedding. When I saw my son, shortly after, he looked as though he was in so much pain. I know that it put it damper on his wedding day. Just remember, save your children the drama.