Yes, the stress of children broke us

Absolutely.

To be honest the Children is what broke us up. Not the stress of them. That I had them period. I wanted kids and he didnt. I always told him he could get fix but I would not assist in it. And he never did so I got pregnagnt

They are so worth it. What happens when people get old that never had children?

Children are a blessing, I agree. I love my granddaughter and I am raising this wonderful 2 year old.

Yet, I must also share the fact that I gave to my daughter the same love, the same care, the same attention and she is a mean, horrible person to me. Every opportunity she has to hurt me she uses with no remorse. Her reaction towards me is that I brought her into this world and the world (mostly I) owe her.

I don't know why she is like that, tried therapy for years and never worked. Now she is a single mother, completely irresponsible with her child (this is why I am raising the baby) and nothing moves forward.

The statistics show a raise in parricide and maticide (own children killing parents) and I can understand when there is severe abuse. But what happens when there was never abuse, only support and love and the child grows up to be a monster?

I wish I knew what I did wrong so I don't repeat.

I think that in the US our society has moved away from the family unit and now celebrates individualism. Our society used to be a place where three generations resided under one roof if need be to help each other.

I know for a fact that if I'd had more help with my children my marriage would have been better. I think about all those years where I was exhausted by my children and their needs. If I'd had some help I might have been able to put some more effort into having a good relationship with my husband instead of being worn out, tired, cranky and grouchy when he came home.

To be fair to myself, he worked too much too. I begged him for years to switch to a different profession or to move to a cheaper state so he would have more time at home. He wouldn't. Work was to important.

I was married to an addict. In my case, it wouldnt have mattered if I had more help, more time, etc. My son had nothing to do with the marriage failing other than my ex husband didnt want him to begin with. I did it all for my son every step of the way...from the very beginning all the way up until now. And I do it gladly. Sure, some days are exhausting.... the daily needs, time, attention, homework, what needs to be done in the house cooking, cleaning, laundry, running him back and forth to football practice 5 nights a week and wresting practice through the winter. I wouldnt trade it for the world.

Nothing, I mean nothing would have changed my marriage with the exception of a whole lot of counseling and sobriety.

I echo your sentiments Name. My marriage was EXACTLY the same. I did it all. He would gladly get me "help" so I could give him more attention, but was unwilling to give of himself to our children so that we could have more time. It was all about him all the time. Now I have the kids and he is all alone. Too bad. I think if we never had kids he would have been less stressed, but we probably would still be divorced because all he ever wanted to do was work and make money. Never enough money, no matter what. He's a glass half empty kind of guy, and I know I wouldn't have stayed as long because I wouldn't have had a reason to.

No he always was and still is a decent father.

He's just a manipulitive jackass for a husband. I do believe he saw me as one of his children and not his wife or friend.

I gave him 15 years too many after I started noticing his real personality. I know I am one of the few, but my STBX has always put the kids first. I will give him that much.

My ex and I always had our issues, but my son's issues sent me into severe anxiety. I needed compasion and some help.

But our son's issues sent my ex to the bar to drink....a total collision course.

THings got better when in the divorce I started playing hard ball, and he had to stand by his word.

We get along well enough now. Probably better than 90% of the ex's out there. Not friends, but cordial to each other. And more respect than ever before.

There used to be a lot more support from neighbors. People used to stay at home more and neighbors looked out for one another. Now we just hope in our cars and don't even know what our neighbors look like. It takes a village.

I love ThenAgain's answer. I think I could have written that myself. Mine are a blessing, even though they drive me crazy.

My ex didn't want either of our children. He thought I tricked him into our 2nd child, and promptly made sure I couldn't have any more.

I quit my high paying job to stay home raising our children. I took children in from their school for extra money, but mostly to help the parents out from having to pay expensive daycare bills.

When my daughter was old enough, she started hating that I was wasting my life being home instead of working. My daughter and I haven't talked in years, she's 21 now, I think it's been about 7 years.

My 16 year old son still cares. I think he's trying to get my daughter to speak with me, but that's not his job.

Since I started dating an ex boyfriend from college, things got worse. His divorce fell through because his wife doesn't want shared custody. Legally, he's married, emotionally he's been estranged from his wife 9 yrs.

Even though my daughter dislikes me, she is successful in college. She was raised right.

My son is and always has been an amazing althlete, and also gets good grades.

I meet with administrators from his school (both went/go to a Lutheran H.S.) and my son is well loved by all. They ask me to coffee because they know my divorce has been hard. They watch over my son, they don't need to, he's happy. I went to the same H.S., so I know a lot of the faculty.

And, to answer your question, I gave my ex every minute of my time. He gave me moments of his time. He left me after the birth of our daughter to meet his friend at a strip club, I have no idea what he did after the birth of our son, but my best friend was there.

My ex had 2 major accidents, along with many minor, his last major accicent is what put off the divorce.

Each accident made him more hostile to me the children, everyone. He was realizing he's not super man.

But, once I filed, he tried to turn the children away from me. I was the bad person.

I don't think it worked with my son, my daughter, maybe someday she will come around.

I think our children were perhaps the root of the problem for him. I got pregnant with my son in college. Although we had planned on moving in together and getting married one day, the pregnancy catapulted us into actualizing plans that probably would have fizzled. He was stuck with me. I know that's how he felt. Because at every opportunity he would try to get away and negate our family. Hanging out with riff raff, drugs, alcohol, strippers, adultory, lies, lies, lies. He rarely helped with the child raising. He had a weak relationship with our kids at best and was rarely involved unless it served his purpose. He didn't finish college, but I did. He had many chances to go back but had a million excuses. It was easier to blame me for ruining his life. When people asked us if we were going to have more kids he would always respond with "hell no!" And he used to "joke" that if I got pregnant again he'd throw me down the stairs. What an asshole right? That's why I am so confused with his relationship with Slutzilla and the sudden interest in our kids. He sees them every other weekend and spoils them rotten. No contact with them in between visits though and my son has his own cell phone so it's not like he has to go through me. And she's due in a few weeks. It just makes no sense.

savorthem: My first husband was never interested in more than our one daughter. I wasn't either but what was so very strange is that after our breakup he had his vasectomy reversed. I think he was dating women interested in having children. I don't he ever wanted more children only another women to take care of him.