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Charge for rent?

Koko
Koko

So I pay for everything since I make way more than my husband. He had stopped contributing financially few years ago so he could save up and open his studio.  Since he told me he wants to separate but has not made any plans to move out should I start charging him rent?  Why should I have to pay for him to live at my house?  He may argue he helps out with the kids but I do my fair share and they are his kids as well.  I guess the sadness has become anger and now resentment....

Staystrong207
Staystrong207
I don't see anything wrong with him paying rent. He used you to save money for his studio and now he's ready to split. He can pay some rent!! If he refuses give him the link to apartments.com or direct him to a shelter.
patti22
patti22
So...right now...you're married...yes? Not separated, no legal papers filed.

Don't call it "rent", tell him that he's got to help support the family. If you can find out what's in his bank account...do that. 50% is yours (doesn't matter if it's in his name only, it was gained during the marriage).

You might also want to get a credit report on both of you to see what debts are out there.
Chris2016
Chris2016
Keep in mind, if you were to divorce, the spouse making less money often receives spousal support from the breadwinner. So depending upon where you see things in a few years, you may want to consider that in how you proceed now. Not sure how big of a disparity your incomes are, but while you are married everything he makes, everything you make, all of your assets, etc. are marital assets, and you both own them together.
Koko
Koko
Still married - nothing has been filed to my knowledge. I did talk to a lawyer and she said I would have to pay a maintenence fee. It just sucks that he is destroying our marriage and our family and gets paid. I'm trying to be amicable since he could always refuse this maintenance fee but it's just so hard!!
jimthzz
jimthzz
If your genders were reversed, people would be telling you to pay spousal support.

Consult with an attorney and prepare yourself for what is to come.
kasharoo
kasharoo
I'd ask him what his plan for living arrangements are in the future. I'm so sorry you're going to have to help him financially when he is the one who is breaking things off - its like rubbing salt in the wound. But in the meantime, you don't have to make it any easier on him. He's certainly not making it any easier on you. And you don't have to let him use you. Try to be amicable, but you are definitely within your rights to ask him what his plan for going forward is. That will be a hard conversation and hopefully he has answers. If not, make your own suggestions - such as rent. Just try to have the conversation when you are not in a place of bitterness or there is no way it can come out amicable.

Consulting with an attorney is also a great idea. Maybe before you even have the conversation with him. They understand the legalities of this stuff. It's possible that if he moves out before a certain stage of the divorce that it becomes an abandonment thing.