sorry about all the errors. DIdnt proof read.

Hi, I identify with what you're feeling.I have been separated from my husband since Oct.2011(its hard to believe) He wanted to come hom all this time and decided to file for a divorce.He didn't want to deal with his addiction to alcohol, which he'd relapsed several months prior to our split.
Please get in touch with a lawyer to know you're rights.A woman needs to know these things.Just because he is treating you this way doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you because you feel rejected.Of course it hurts when you love someone.I'm nott saying to get a divorce, just at least see what you need to do to protect yourself.
I don't know whats going on, id he cheat?addicted to?? Anyway, taking care of yourself even though you are bummed out will help you deal with this.Hang in there..!
Hugs,
Ross

relax and remind yourself of who you are. you have a right to be happy and to live in peace. don't let anyone affect your sense of worth like he has.

if you love him, set him free to be angry someplace else. when you live alone, you can let your home be peaceful and happy again.

All that you can do is attempt to communicate. If he doesn't want to communicate there's nothing you can do at this point.

This phase of your life will be a painful one. You are going to experience a roller coaster of emotions. Just try to remain calm. I know you are very scared but give it some time. Maybe after a bit of time has passed he will want to talk. Either way you have to remain calm right now.

You are right, life is very unfair. There is nothing we can do about this except learn from our experiences and move on.

You probably shouldn't analyze future relationships right this moment. You are going through a lot and you should focus on this right now. This will pass and then you can think about future relationships. When that time comes don't think that everything will be horrible because of this experience. I know this will be hard to believe right now but everything will work out in the end.

Just take a deep breathe. After all freaking out won't help you in this situation. This will take time to heal but you will heal eventually. Hang in there.

I wish you luck.

I completely agree with the above responses. Sometimes when someone breaks up with us they no longer act like the person we think we knew. I don't know why that is, but it was certainly my experience when my ex-husband decided to end things.

When that happens, it's so easy to take it in and feel like, " If he's treating me so poorly, there must be something wrong with me." And it's also normal to still have love for the person, even after all that.

But the important thing is, don't let his treatment of you dictate how you feel about yourself. How he behaves reflects on him, not you.

Sometimes we just can't get closure from the other person, and have to focus on getting our own internal closure as best we can, and come to a place of peace with that. At least, that was my experience.

I agree with Boldeagle that life is not fair; we will all have both good times and bad times, and we learn what we can, and recognize that it's all temporary (both the good and bad).

Finally, maybe try to put one foot in front of the other and not worry too much about future relationships at this point. In saying that to you, I also realize that's something impotrtamt for me to remember right now too, as I'm only a few days into a breakup myself.

So hang in there, and please try not to blame yourself!

Hi Jgarc: He doesn't want to talk to you or deal with you. Keep his reply for an attorney.

Sadly, he can leave without providing you an reason or any closure and that's true. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET CLOSURE SO YOU MUST CONTINUE ON.

So power down your jets, know that he is going for good, he won't discuss this or go to counseling, and you are on your own and need to focus solely on you.

You are finally seeing the REAL GUY THAT HE IS AND IT'S UGLY AND MEAN. Remember this guy because he is not the man you married, but he is the guy that exists right now. Every time you miss him and can't be without him, remember this UGLY AND MEAN GUY to give you the courage to go on.

You said you saw an attorney, what did they saw and how long do you wait? Is the place you are living in under your name only, or both of your names? What names are the utilities under?

You have to start thinking about your financial matters because he won't and if things are in his name and he starts shutting them off, you will be in a real problem. That's why you need to know.

If everything is in your name only, including your apartment, then have the locks changed so that he can't get back in. He doesn't belong back in. On the same thought, if the apartment is in his name only, he can have you thrown out and terminate at the end of the lease so you won't have anywhere to live.

Are you working, if not are you looking for work?

Firstly, I am sorry for all the heartache and pain you are going through right now.
I know none of this makes sense to you. You sit alone and torture yourself with the 'what ifs' and the 'whys'. Right now it seems like this is going to last forever. Believe me when I tell you I know...
It is completely normal to feel this way and to still love him. You weren't the person who left, he was. It will take time for you to process everything and for your feelings to change, if they ever will completely.
Everyone is giving you good advice here. The only things I would add would be to remind yourself that he quit you. YOU do not owe HIM anything. Turn that around right now. Try to really know that it is not you, it is him.
You may not understand this immediately(by that I mean your heart may not agree right now) but in time, it will not only get easier, but you will begin to see the light and even feel better. Have faith in this and keep coming here for support. We have all experienced varrying degrees of what you are going through and we care about you so use us to lean on until you can stand on your own.
Lots of hugs...

Hi Jgarc, I don't have any advice for you but I wanted to let you know that I am right there with you, going through the exact same thing you are going through. You are not alone. Sending good thoughts your way.

Yeh, life is unfair and sometimes people just suck. I am sorry he is treating you in the manner he is. But his reasoning at this point is for his own selfish purpose. Doesn't mean it is right, but that is how he is choosing to handle the situation. I guess the good thing is you now get to see how he will handle situations like this. It shows you another side of him. An aspect you get to now consider in your own feelings once the dust settles.

Relationships will be fine. He is probably feeling many of the same thing you are, it just comes out in a different way. Be strong. It will get better. It could always be worse, you could have my situation.

Hi Jgarc,

I think it's safe to say most of us have been there. There's a feeling that the other person has somehow forgotten how they felt about us, and the unfortunate consequence is that it kills our self-esteem. I don't think it works that way, though; there are so many reasons for someone to leave. Sometimes it's easier for them when they do leave if they can close themselves off, because any residual guilt is hard for them to deal with.

Years ago I came home from a weekend to find that my boyfriend had moved out. No warning; when I'd left on the Friday he'd kissed me and said he loved me. I called him, livid, and he said that people had told him to leave without a word. He then told me that his shrink said not to talk to me. Understand that, while it wasn't a perfect relationship, there was no animosity between us, no cheating, nothing like that. He was simply too cowardly to confront any of it. His father had committed suicide when the boyfriend was a child and there were so many reasons for him to fear confrontation. You never know what may make someone afraid.

Unfortunately it's up to you to be strong. Not getting closure is tough. I know. But you will come through it. It is not a fault with you that you feel sad, hurt, angry. It's natural.