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Cant get my ex out of my head

Wooker
Wooker

I have recently kicked my husband out of the house, we have been together for 18 years and in that time me and the kids have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotional abuse. It was really difficult to get my husband to leave but he finally went. What I am finding now is that I can't get him out of my head, as soon as I wake up I think of him, I constantly look at my phone hoping for a message and I imagine if he sorted his issues out (alocholic, depression and mental health) I would take him back but he has promised all this before and everytime he has gone back to his old ways. I have lost count of the times he has lost his shit and smashed up the house and cars, I have gotten to the point I am scared of him as soon as i see a drink in his hand. I have previously seen a psychiatrist to help me deal with my own issues (codependency, low self-esteem, depression) and it has helped but now I need to know how do I get him out of my head, I don't want to take him back and I am worried that in a weak moment I could let him. Any suggestions please.

mirandac
mirandac
Keep reaching out for support and groups like
Alanon and divorce care to help you. I would
Also Get back into therapy again.

There is not easy or Quick way thru any of this
add in addictions, Abuse and MH issues. Its
Going to take awhile to even feel safe again.

Let yourself grieve your losses, this is a roller
Coaster ride of emotions and feelings. HUGS
feeling_lost
feeling_lost
I just recently kicked my husband out as well for different reasons, but the pain is just the same. I miss our good days and I want him to come back, but I know that we both need time apart. I've been seeing a therapist and it does help, so that might help you as well. Just remember, you are stronger than you think. You and your children will get through this.
2GraceFULL
2GraceFULL
Keep going to therapy and get stronger and stronger. If you can find a support group for abused or battered women then join it and get involved and interact with the other victims there. You need to be able to say no and stay away from the man who was making your life a living hell. My abuser and I were married for 28 years and its very hard to cut that cord and admit you've been wrong and wronged by someone you thought loved you. If he gets help and stays clean and sober then you should give him one more chance, but from a distance. Not by letting him move back in but by showing you he has changed. Sorry, I am so harsh but you need someone to be honest and not sugar coat your situation. Find someone you can help, do things for others, get involved in a hobby and improve your life. I found true love after 30 years with my high school sweetheart and he was my answer to a prayer. God is good and my life is good now. You can have that too.....just hang tough.