Hubby said he wanted a divorce then after we separated for a week he said he was sorry and wanted to work things out. He is not the same person I married and I just don't feel he's going to get to a point where he wants to stay married. Living with him is so hard be because I justbwantnto give him love but know I won't get any back. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I love him with all my heart but I can't take being strung along like this. The pain is unbearable. I want to go to sleep at night and never wake up again. I want my husband back, not this ahole he has become. I'm just trying to understand what is going on with him. How do I end it when That's the last thing I really want to do but know its what I should do? How do I get the courage to move on? We haven't been to a counselor since he said he wanted to work on things but we are going next week. I cannot wait for that day to get here but at the same time afraid. I just need tontalk to someone though. I really feel like I'm going to die of pain from this. I just want my life and the husband he used to be back. This is so hard because he is known for being a really nice guy. It's unbelievable to me that he is capable turning into the person he is now and treating me like this. I just miss what we had. I feel like he's hiding something but I haven't been able to find anything.

Also, i was just glancing at his Internet history and noticed he was looking at a lot of smutty books. Basically porn in book in book format. He had a blow job video bookmarked. Can someone tell me how to identify a person with a porn addiction or a sex addiction? I really think he has one, not based justs on what I found today but on other things aswell. I just need a full time therapist. I can't handle being alone with my thoughts. I'm just dying inside. Please help!