i have felt like you are feeling for 2 months since my husband has said he does nt want to be with me.
I desperastly love him and want him to come back!
Since sunday i ahve been feeling angry with it all instead of the sad sick feeling.
Sleep will come to you... your emotions will exhaust your body.
When you want to cry and howl do it.... i use to sleep after i ahd wailed for an hr.
We are all here for you.
vent as much as you want. we all have xxx

I know how you feel. My wife left a little over a week ago, and I'm devastated! I still love her even though she's been hanging out with another guy, and I've tried everything I can think of to get her back. She says she needs time to think as well and she wants to come back, but is spending more and more time with the other guy. I also am not eating or sleeping, and am doing good to just function day by day. But each day I feel a little bit better, at least for part of the day. And I keep reminding myself that it will get better!

Im so sorry you guys are going through this as well. Unfortunately there are way too many of us going through this right now. Ill keep you both in my prayers. What is with our spouses that makes them not want to try anymore? My husband has done some crappy things to me in our past (lied to me about drinking problem & hid a video camera to film us doing the deed without me knowing I found it and stopped it right away and destroyed the few seconds he caught on tape) but I forgave him and worked through my anger about being lied to and deceived. I was so upset during both of those events but never once did I seriously consider leaving him because I made a commitment before God and my friends and family and I want to honor that if at all possible. I would never hurt him like he is hurting me. His biggest fault is that he is too polite and too nice. Thats what everyone says about him and yet he sure has treated me like crap.

Whats worse is hes dragging this out so long. I know things arent going to get better overnight but weve been in serious trouble for months now and theres been no change in him to show hes trying at all to fix things. Ive done everything.

Sorry to ramble. Its just hard and Im hurting so badly right now.

that is exactly like me.... its been going on since march and then he tells me he wants to leave and then he wants us to get back then he does nt then he does blah blah blah.
I am crazy with confusion

Whathappened...I am so sorry 4 your pain and agony. I have felt many of your same feelings. My husband left 6 months ago b/c he is an addict. I experienced the anxiety, not being able to work, but I did, ect. ect. Sleep was a relief for me. I need to address your statement "I want to sleep and never wake up". You don't have any sort of plan in place do you? I need to be sure of this b/c i take this statement very seriously as a nurse and a person.

Many of the feelings you are experiencing are , in my opinion, completely normal and part of the grieving process, shock, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some steps take longer than others but grieving a loss can take up to six months and sometimes longer.

Try your hardest to live in the moment and put aside thoughts of dating and children. I know it will be difficult but try your hardest. Medication is positive but make sure you are properly diagnosed. You want to be sure you do not have any underlying medical or mental health issues that are already excisting. If a dr. puts you on medication just thinking you are depressed without doing a complete psychiatric evaluation it may not be the right antidepressent.

Anyway, in the meantime, certainly do not worry if the medication helps you find relief. Just consider in the near future seeing a good
Dr. Have to go for now but please try to ride out the emotions. they will be very strong and almost unbearable at times but you can do this.

I feel this way too. I think it's pretty normal (though this is my first break up). My situation is very similar to yours. Call good friends and family; write here for support. I really wanted things to work out too, and tried counseling, etc., but in the end he still was lying so I had to leave. I don't feel strong at all, but I'm trying to hang in there. Please take care of yourself.

Are you and your husband still living under the same roof? How far along are you in the divorce process?

Thanks for your support everyone. I REALLY appreciate it.

cisl4him- I am not serious about ending my life but the thought of never waking up is so appealing because it would mean I wouldn't have to feel this wretched pain again. Thank you so much for your concern. I met with my doctor and told her what was going on. We narrowed it down to Wellbutrin because it sounded like it had the least number of side effects. She hasn't called me back to say it has been filled yet. I'm pretty sure I have A.D.D. however I've never seen anyone for it. I probably should because it is something that has contributed to my marital problems. I also have really low self-esteem. I'm going to a counselor on Thursday to address that issue.

Perrenial, my husband and I are living under the same roof. He wasn't talking to me much at all but a few weeks ago he started talking to me a little more. I am an event coordinator and he showed up at my holiday lighting event on the 3rd to help because he knew I was short staffed. We've gone out to dinner a few times, I suggested we put up s xmas tree at his mom's this weekend since she never would have done it on her own and my DH's sister and her family are coming for Christmas this year. The kids needed to have a tree up. We went to Costco with my parents on Sunday and he kept asking me what he can get me for Christmas. He started calling and texting me during work again too. I thought we were making progress. Yesterday morning my devil cat attacked my good cat and a huge fight broke out and he got really mad at me and blamed me for not watching devil cat. I got mad and said he can't always blame me for everything because he does. He was downstairs where the fight started and I was upstairs getting ready for work. He did apologize but it led to a fight.

He went to counseling last night and that is when the counselor said we should separate because it is too tense for both of us at home. If he needs space then he can have his space but I don't want him to use this time to start dating and not work on the marriage. I stayed at my parent's house last night and just came over here again. We live about 10-12 min. away from them. We've been sleeping in the same bed too and been intimate a few times although when I asked him why he's been doing it he said he's trying to see if he feels anything for me but he doesn't.

I feel like such a loser for wanting to stay withhim when he treats me like this but he's the love of my life and if I could get the "old" hubby back I would be so happy. It's like he's transformed into this total stranger and I don't know if it's because he's having an affair or if he's just depressed over our relationship.
Friends of ours and even my co-workers who know him well think think is depressed. He lost his dad a couple years ago and two weeks before the anniversary of his dad's death his uncle die - that was this September.

This weekend we went xmas shopping at a big box store. They had a giving tree so we stopped and picked some names of kids to get gifts for. He started to cry in the middle of the store because he said he just wanted all those kids to have a good xmas. We are both very giving people and I want every person in the world to have a good Christmas but I found it very odd that a grown man would cry over something like that in the middle of a crowded store.

Earlier in the week he cried again when I plugged in my air freshener deal after he went to the bathroom. Sorry, but it smelled. I had the plug-in in our bedroom but I had to open the window because it was hot and the plug was right under the window so I moved it to the bathroom because the air freshener was just getting sucked out the window. I also moved it because he stunk up the bathroom. He started crying when I did this because he thought I was being rude and basically telling him he stunk.DUDE! YOU POOPED! Am I not allowed to think your poop stinks and fix the problem? He should fix the problem no one else has to smell his poop! He's the rude one, not me! Eventually he said he knew he didn't stink but it reminded him of the past when he said I told him he smelled. I think when we were first married I must have told him he smelled. My family does that but he doesn't like it so I stopped. If I smelled I would want to know so I didn't go to work and offend my co-workers and embarrass myself. Everyone I know agrees but when you tell him something like he thinks I'm being an evil witch wife and now he's trying to leave me over it.

He had a really crappy childhood and I think that's part of his problem. His family has had so many crappy problems since we got married and he takes on those problems and makes them all his own. His dad's business partner screwed him and he refused to work for anyone but himself so he didn't work for like 20 years. He finally started working for himself but he would work for items like a crappy boat he never used or a piece of crap car. His mom had to go to work in a retail store and they lived in his grandparent's basement for 8 years in one large, open room. Finally his junior year in high school his parents moved into their own home but his dad hradly worked. He even lived with his aunt's family for a while and his aunt's kids were mean to him so he stayed in their basement all the time and she called him weird so he resents that side of the family for that. The guy has got some serious issues and yet he's blaming everything on me. I however am taking responsibility for everything I've done an am working as hard as I can to fix all the things about me that have caused him pain and frustration.Many of those things are things I think he's being a little sensitive about but I will sacrifice for him.

We are in counseling. I will try separating but I'm scared it's not going to work. He says all the time he just doesn't know what he wants to do. What kills me about that is that he sees me pleading with him and bawling my eyes and doesn't even feel bad for me. I would think if someone were doing that you would at least say, "I see how hurt you are and I see how hard you are trying so I will try to work on this." No. He has done nothing. He even said the only reason he wanted to go to counseling (he suggested it before I ever did) is so someone would side with him and confirm I'm a terrible wife who treated him poorly.

During our first session with the counselor I learned I do not know how to show love well. Easily fixed. Done! He's trying to leave me because he says I've been mean to him but he is sooooooooo sensitive and the things he's saying I've done that are mean are things no one else in the world would get worked up over which is why I never took him seriously. I 100% regret that and understand now that if it upsets him (and not one person on the planet would be bothered by it) that's all that should matter.

That's my really long vent. Sorry to ramble. It is theraputic to get it out and maybe someone can shine some light on this. We have had intimacy issues too because I am not a sexual person and it just doesn't feel good. I don't know if it's him or if it's me but I'm exploring that as well. We still had relations several times a month but not as much as he would like to. I get now how important sex is to guys and I'm sorry he felt deprived. I'm going to see a sex therapist eventually to see what's wrong with me. Since he is the only person I've ever been with I often wonder if maybe it's not me. Maybe it's him! I just don't know.