What you're going threw must be extremely hard. It's going to be okay. If he leaves you than that just means he didn't deserve the amazing and wonderful women you are. You are in my prayers

Thank you. I'm so glad I found this site. It's good to have a safe place to vent when you're feeling so alone and isolated.

Mine had a massive mid life crisis that has evolved into our divorce - I never thought I would be in this position but he has behaved in the most cruel and nasty way - I threw him out when I found out he had spent the night with a woman well know for giving it away - the way he has behaved since has shown his true colours = he has no relationship with our children because all he ever did was tell them I was the liar - stupidly I still worry about him, his family tell me his gambling is out of control, it was always a problem, that has helped me as when it went to court it was obvious he has a problem - £3k in one month online gambling whilst telling out daughter he couldn't afford to help her our financially. I can keep the house but he won't last long on his cut - why do I care?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my husband is thinking everything will be so much better once he leaves the marriage. My fear is that he will spin out of control. He has been acting like a 16 yo boy off and on for the last 5 years....

(Here's an outlier idea) Maybe you should leave your husband and go after different woman! It would be fun, adventurous, and sexy!

I swear, their midlife makes us crazy. You pretty much have to do and say the exact opposite of what you think you should. For the past 2 weeks, have not initiated any contact....but it seems to drive him crazy and he contacts me. He's looking for pity, or reassurance....but I'm not giving it. I am looking out for me and my girls.

As difficult as it is to do, continue to give him space while still being friendly and loving but with a clear message that life goes on fine without him. This way he sees that you have self respect and the inner strength to do life with or without him. That is an attractive quality about a person that most partners have a hard time resisting. I would suggest a book written by Dr. James Dobson "Love Must Be Tough" an invaluable resource on dealing with maintain respect and balance within relationships. Hugs and prayers to you!

Thanks! I will check that book out!

Oh how I hate that phrase midlife crisis. It's such an excuse for low self esteem. The only caution I have with giving the husband his space is that it will give him more free time to spend with he other woman (if there is someone else, which, isn't that a classic sign of a midlife crisis?). Which is exactly what happened to me. It was only when I was done putting up with his bull sh** and started to look for my own apt that he woke up and realized that his behavior and decisions have consequences. We are still trying to reconcile, but he doesn't realize that he's pushed me very far this time.

I know it's frightening to feel that we are losing the one person we love so much (I went through that every damn day from July to December). But you are worthy of so much more and deserve to be treated with respect. If he can't give you that respect then maybe you need to be free to make room in your life for someone who will love and respect you the way you deserve. Big hugs to you, as I remember those sleepless nights.