I met who I thought was the love of my life on eharmony in 2005. I had been married before, for 25 years, have two grown and successful children, and after 4 years of being single, I decided to get back into the dating game. I lived in a very large city, he in a very small country town, and I made the decision to give up my very lucrative job, great apartment, most of my furniture, etc. to get married. He was widowed (only 4 months) but we immediately clicked and fell head over heels in love. First year was great, 2nd year we were struggling with the differences in our backgrounds (I was a very trusting person), found out he trusted no one, including me and came home one day and said he filed for a divorce and said we could still be together and see if in a year I was still happy living in the country! I was totally suprised and sick. We went to counseling, helped for a while, but never really resolved our issues. I was hurt beyond words that he didn't trust me and seemed to have to explain my every move. I was very isolated and he had issues with my children (mostly daughter) so I was walking on egg shells. We had an argument after visiting daughter. He thought I spent $30 dollars on her while visiting, which I did not (keep in mind money was not an issue for us, he was very secure financially). I was the one watching the money closely (he always said I was always saving him money - he could be a compulsive spender). Bottom line - I had enough when he accused me one more time for something I didn't do. Just could not stay there and came to my daughter's for what I thought might be a weekend away. 1 year and 3 months later I am still here! No job, in therapy, taking 2 antidepressants, and feel like this pain will never end. After reading all the other posts, I know I am not alone and I also know you truly have to be in this position to understand it. If anyone else told me this story, I would say "why did you put up with it."

When we met he told me I was an angel who saved him (he was very distraught after losing his wife and drinking too much), that God brought us together, which I believed also, and he wrote me a letter shortly before I left that said "I made hime a better person"! Great, so here I am. My intellectual mind knows this is all crazy stuff, but my heart won't stop hurting. I know he met someone even before we divorced (had to stop looking at facebook, it was torture) and I will never ever understand how he can move forward so fast. I know that all of the stories I have read are different, but I think we are all feeling that same horrific, sickening pain. I am tired of it and want to move on (doesn't help that all the self help books say "just move on" and "you can if you want too"). So many other parts of this story, but this is the jest of it. It hurts and I just needed to write it down.