People can do that , make promises they don't intend to keep, my husband was completely normal and talking about our future here and there and then he blindsided me with divorce. We were together 23 years . I'm in my 40's and I know I am worth more then this. You are worth more then this too . Of course your grieving , it's normal, I was the same as you , I could not function for weeks. I didn't eat either. I am ok now it's been 2 months . You will be ok too. Use those weeks he wants for yourself. And know you deserve better then to wait around for a discussion about things. He just left you high and dry , don't contact him at all , give yourself time , I know it's really hard . Hang in there .

he sounds like a shallow self centered turd, he had a plan, worked it, worked you, and now he is gone

it hurts when the person you care for most does this

thank God that you guys didn't get too far time wise and didn't have kids,

he sounds like the kind of turd that used your anxiety issues against you, if so that shows him to be rotten

good riddance to him

Thank you guys so much for your advice. I know people here are going through far worse but I have no idea how to cope. Your kind words honestly mean the world to me. He was never a liar and treated me so well. I think he felt like he spent so much money on this relationship and then he felt criticized often. Me pointing out a parking spot would upset him. I have also made comments about his mom being overbearing. I guess I brought this upon myself. I can't fathom how a human being would talk like things were going better and then just cut me off. Is this how some people mask the pain? Does this mean everything was fake? I know he truly loved me and he was worn out. I kept pressuring him to get his own place after two years of dating since he was financially able to do so. I sought any form of commitment. I messed up. I hate myself. I lost someone who before this treated me so well and took care of me since I have been sick. I feel like I crushed a beautiful soul.

Sometimes it's hard to know the truth. Some people can hide many things, say things, flip things around on you, etc. You'll make yourself crazy trying to figure out why. I know firsthand how hard it is, but you have to spend each day working on making yourself happy and forgetting about him. Clearly, he is not who you thought he was.

My now EX-husband pulled something like this on me before we ever married, after we were dating almost 2 years. I know now that he was NEVER the man he appeared to be, he was always lying to me from the beginning (although, like you, if you'd have asked me, I'd have said then, "oh, NO, he isn't a liar, he doesn't lie to me." Some people are just THAT good at lying.). Fast forward and we got back together, got married, he cheated on me multiple times, took money from me, did many deceitful and hurtful things behind my back, and just months before our divorce finalized, got himself in trouble with the law. All that as just a cautionary tale to you: stay away from this man. He's shown you his true colors now. He will likely try to gloss it all over with you somewhere down the line, whether in a few weeks, months, or even years. Your best bet is to work on realizing you deserve so much better, so that you don't give in to his BS if/when he comes back to try to dupe you all over again.

I'm sorry this happened to you, I know personally how much it hurts. If I'd have ran far away the first time he did it, I wouldn't have ended up with the pain of a child and divorce all thrown into the mix, which is a million times harder. Take care of yourself, you deserve better. And as for your age, I know you feel like there is no time left, but I promise, you, you have all the time in the world. Better to be on your own and happy when the right man comes along, then caught up with someone who'd treat you this way. Big hugs and lots of support to you.

Please do not blame yourself for decisions he has made, that's not fair at all. Take this time to better yourself, after all, your worth it!

I am so so sorry for you.

I too struggle with anxiety. I am in extreme pain over some relationship troubles with my partner of over a year. I feel like if things don't work out then I won't be able to move on, and it devastates me beyond words...

Right now, try not to think about why he did this or who you will date afterwards, that will only make you feel worse. Just focus only on you, only on feeling better. I find that this website really helps, and it helps probably more than anything to talk to someone. The pain/ depression won't disappear right away, but healing will come one step at a time.

I feel you though. This community cares, and others understand the deep pain of these things.

I just went through the same thing a few weeks and let me tell you that the way I feel now is almost a complete 180 from where I was when I made my initial post. I too am in my late 20s and have struggled from anxiety that controls my life, which is what I think contributed to our breakup. I too was blindsided and communication was cut off. You may never have the answers you want, I still don't. I allowed myself 1 week to wallow before I went out and started living my life again. It is still hard but you will be able to function again!

Thank you all so much, honestly just hearing these things up lifts me a little. I believe he also thought he was doing what was best for me because I seemed so unhappy. I am almost always on edge. I believe that he will contact me like he said. He is a person who breaks down easily and I think struggles with depression as well. I don't think he understood how much this disease consumes me. I think the last few months of the relationship I was consumed with thoughts about how I could ever move on. I love him tremendously and I think we needed a break. I thought things were going better so that's the hard part. But someone can't flip a switch overnight if that's all they have ever known from you. I want to reach out to him so badly, but I know i have to wait. He always told me when I threaten to break up in the past that he would always hope I would be his friend no matter what. I feel like o squashed a beautiful soul. How can someone do this when they know how much pain I must be in??????? I feel like he must've never loved me or cared about me. He was the most caring soul I know

I found this site looking for support after 21 years of marriage and three kids. I have been in marriage counseling for 2 years by myself and pretty much "let" my husband live like a single person. He found a group of young people and spends weekends partying and drinking. I am so sad for my kids..the youngest is 10. I will be OK..but my heart is breaking for them. I wasn't blindsided like sakuraowl, but the grief is killing me. I am in my 40s and planned a future with a man I still love. I am on medication, but I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sakuraowl..he did you a favor. Run like the wind! At least this didn't happen to you with this jerk 20 years later..you would be in my shoes! I know you are hurting, but you are young!!! I was too nice..just learn from this and you will find someone who deserves you! You would not want to be in my shoes...trust me.

Has anyone had the person reach out to you after setting a no contact time limit? I need closure and can not function.

If you want to reach out to him, reach out. But don't have any expectations. He needs time too. I know you want to get your hopes up but it's time to focus on yourself and sorting your own mind out. The road to healing begins with acceptance of your current situation. I really would recommend starting with a therapist or good long chat with a friend.