I know how you are feeling as I have cried every day since my husband of 40 years left. He has had problems with alcohol but was clean. He met a woman 20 years younger in a detox clinic and he is currently abroad with her. He says they are just friends and that she understands what he has been through with alcohol even though she is drinking again. Im not eating properly but I have to get up each day to care for our beloved dog and take him walks. I didnt think I had any more tears but they still flow. Its so hard and I have never known so much pain. I wish I knew the answer or that I will wake up and its been a dream. Take care.

I'm not sure how being an introvert makes the break-up your fault. In not knowing his "hopes and dreams," I can only assume that he wanted to get out and travel the world, while you did not. My assumption may be completely wrong.

But if my assumptions are right, then it's not a case of it being "your fault," so much as it would be a case of a simple mis-match.

Relationships fail for a few reasons, one of which is communicating your future plans and desires.

Mis-match is another one. I had a relationship that suddenly failed, seemingly out of nowhere, while we were having casual conversation in our apartment. She said that she wanted to live in a big home someday, with a big yard and a few big dogs. Imagine the look on her face when I told her that I don't want the responsibility of a house, and besides that, I am confident that I'll never earn enough money to buy a house.

Woke up the next day, and she was gone. Left a note that said, "Deal-Breaker!" That was it.

Whether my assumption are right, somewhat close, or completely off, I think that it's wrong to beat yourself up over it, or to assume that it was your fault. Sometimes people end up not fitting, and that's not really anybody's fault. It's life.

Best of luck.

I know this can be a very painful thing to endure. So many confusing thoughts in your head like a rolodex that never ends. Sometimes we think that it is us that is the problem and we use this way of thinking to keep us down. If you did everything you could and nothing works, then maybe you are not the problem. It’s easy to blame ourselves after a breakup. We wish we can go back in time to the place where we were the happiest with our partner, or to go back and fix the problem. Take it from me that if a man moves on fast, then there is something that is inside him that is a problem. We do not know what we have until its gone and usually the one who breaks up with us is happy and moving on while you are left with confusion, anger, and sadness. My advice to you is to take the time to really feel your emotions. Do not try to stuff them down because they will eventually come back as insecurities in future relationships. take the time for you, focus on your goals, get support from friends and family etc. this is the time where you need yourself the most. I know how that can feel because I have been through several breakups. Just because he moved on so fast does not mean that he is not feeling the effects. He may be happy now, but everything comes full circle. Eventually, it will hit him and he WILL feel the effects of losing you. You just need to be the best you can be so that when he does come crawling back with apologies and needing you when it does not work out. He will see a new and improved you that is powerful in herself and stronger because of the breakup. But you are going to be too busy looking for your perfect man. Trust me I know it does not seem like it right now, but he is out there, and look at this situation as a way for you to learn more about yourself. a real man who loves you cannot be stolen by any woman. Life just cleared him out to make room for the one true love that is right for you. Think positive and focus on yourself, because when you do, you will feel more empowered and confident that you ever had been before. I hope this helps you.

God bless you Erich! Your words really touched my soul and put a little light in it. I just had a panick attack, I thought my heart was popping out of my chest, my head is spinning. I took a pill for my headache and made myself some tea for the comfort. Thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate it. And coming from a man with a life experience means a lot. I will save your words and read them all over again when I will feel down.
Big hug!

ElenaD--it appears that you and I are similar. I am also an introvert who sometimes feel I have missed a lot of things as well due to my personality. Like you, my husband is hanging around a girl who he says they have so much in common :( I sometimes wonder how he could just move on like that and then I read what Erich says and it makes me hopeful that I will find someone who deserves me and will accept me as the woman I am. However, it doesn't take away the pain but I just get through this day by day, its all that we can do. Sending lots of hugs your way! :)

"A real man who loves you cannot be stolen by another woman." Wow! And there goes my hope that he still loves me. Not enough I see. Not enough to fight for us. We do not deserve to be mistreated by men who easily kick us out of the picture for another one.
Bluelab97-- be strong and believe in you! Hugs back!

I'm so sorry. I can imagine that is very very hard to see . I can relate to the tears. It just has to get better?

ElenaD--I dont know that if my husband showed up at the door tonight begging for me to take him back that I would. Before this time, we had separated for a month and a half. However, things were much different then. Yes, my heart still loves him but why would I want to take back someone who moved on with another person? Like your quote you just wrote, I want a man who will put me first and love me like I did my husband. I put him on a pedestal and was so loyal to him. I loved him more than I probably should have because in the end, he didn't love me enough to want to fight for our marriage. Why would I want to stay in a relationship like that?

The thing is even after all he put me through, I still believe in love. I still believe that it will find me again, however, if it doesn't, I am starting to think that I will be okay and I will move on with my life. There are days I have doubts but I get through it. :)

I was quoting Erich, who wrote big words here. I goes for me as well. I loved my husband more than I should, I loved him more than I loved myself. And now he just wiped the floor with my love. Now I feel pain but also anger. I told him before he was gone that if he ever changes his mind, I will still be here waiting for him. I think it was the fear of loneliness speaking. I don't believe those words anymore right now.
We have to keep believing in true love and keep our hope. When the time is right we will be ready to embrace it again.
Take care blue! Hugs!

Sorry, Erich for not giving credit to where its due....:( Its Friday, Elena and has been a crazy day at work!! :)

I feel for you. You did nothing. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. No excuse in the world would justify these actions. So sorry you are going through this. My ex wife cheated on me because she just wanted to have fun. Those words were a knife to my heart. She's sleeping with guys for fun, not love but fun. She has 2 guys on the go right now! 22 years together gone because she's horny for other people. All our plans for the future gone.

When someone is doing something wrong, they tend to excuse themselves by blaming the wronged party. When my dad left my mom, he tried to tell me she was neurotic. I knew that her only problems had been his selfishness. Your husband may have told you your personality was the problem, but he's just trying to blame you so he can feel less guilty. Adultery is wrong, no matter the reason. There is no excuse. Affairs like this don't usually end in happiness either. I almost feel sorry for your husband, because he is leaving a commitment he made to a faithful loving woman, for someone who is probably only using him for a meal ticket and a way to get to this country. Hold your head high and keep your self-respect. This is a horrible blow to your heart, but there is hope for a good future when you get past this. My mom eventually met a wonderful man in a Christian singles group, and he treated her like a queen. My dad, on the other hand, could not have been happy and died young of cancer, full of regret. I pray for both you and your husband--may God be at work in both your lives.