Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me yesterday. Things had been going downhill for a few weeks, but I am just in a world of pain and depression right now. Can hardly function.
Backstory:
We had an awesome relationship, meshed incredibly well, and often felt very meant for each other. Everything felt natural, amazing, perfect even. Happy and both the best relationship either of us have had. Well, here comes the only catch... religious differences. I'll try and sum it up by saying we are both people of faith. I am very open minded and more casual in my beliefs, him not so much. In the beginning he wasn't very active in his church and this was never an issue. We felt on the same page.
Six months ago he broke up with me on account of religion. I was incredibly devastated because I had always felt like we could work it out fine, and that I had no issues looking into his way of things. Well, roughly a month later we got back together. We talked for an insane amount of time about EVERYTHING, and I felt like we had solidly sorted everything out. Promises and assurances were made by him....and I thought we would be staying together for good. We had an amazing summer together.
~
Well, now he has broken up with me again, for a similar reason..."faith" has told him to. Well....I simply can't fathom this. Only months earlier he told me that faith led us back together! There was no apparent disfunction in our actual relationship, nothing wrong, and we were so, so happy... this has just been his issue. I have gone above and beyond to accommodate his end of things, look into his faith and work with him so that it wouldn't be an obstacle...because I didn't believe it would be.
Well...I feel like it's not me, it's not the religion itself, It's him. Whatever problem he has causing him to be so flakey he didn't resolve six months ago and has not resolved now. The going back and forth to the church has been going on his whole life, way before we met.
What I am going through is just incredible pain and difficulty accepting that we are no longer together. Just 2 months ago, we were starting to talk about marriage. I was wanting to keep him and that was really the impression I was getting from him as well. How can someone go from thinking about marriage to questioning the relationship just like that!? How can you make all these assurances and promises and then just change your mind? The problem is, he's not a jerk...never was..he is an incredible person I wanted to marry. I know many of you who were married for many years have harder situations, but this pain is just so much for me. I can hardly look at anything without being reminded of him, without wanting him. I've been cut deep twice now. I feel empty and hopeless and dead inside.
Backstory:
We had an awesome relationship, meshed incredibly well, and often felt very meant for each other. Everything felt natural, amazing, perfect even. Happy and both the best relationship either of us have had. Well, here comes the only catch... religious differences. I'll try and sum it up by saying we are both people of faith. I am very open minded and more casual in my beliefs, him not so much. In the beginning he wasn't very active in his church and this was never an issue. We felt on the same page.
Six months ago he broke up with me on account of religion. I was incredibly devastated because I had always felt like we could work it out fine, and that I had no issues looking into his way of things. Well, roughly a month later we got back together. We talked for an insane amount of time about EVERYTHING, and I felt like we had solidly sorted everything out. Promises and assurances were made by him....and I thought we would be staying together for good. We had an amazing summer together.
~
Well, now he has broken up with me again, for a similar reason..."faith" has told him to. Well....I simply can't fathom this. Only months earlier he told me that faith led us back together! There was no apparent disfunction in our actual relationship, nothing wrong, and we were so, so happy... this has just been his issue. I have gone above and beyond to accommodate his end of things, look into his faith and work with him so that it wouldn't be an obstacle...because I didn't believe it would be.
Well...I feel like it's not me, it's not the religion itself, It's him. Whatever problem he has causing him to be so flakey he didn't resolve six months ago and has not resolved now. The going back and forth to the church has been going on his whole life, way before we met.
What I am going through is just incredible pain and difficulty accepting that we are no longer together. Just 2 months ago, we were starting to talk about marriage. I was wanting to keep him and that was really the impression I was getting from him as well. How can someone go from thinking about marriage to questioning the relationship just like that!? How can you make all these assurances and promises and then just change your mind? The problem is, he's not a jerk...never was..he is an incredible person I wanted to marry. I know many of you who were married for many years have harder situations, but this pain is just so much for me. I can hardly look at anything without being reminded of him, without wanting him. I've been cut deep twice now. I feel empty and hopeless and dead inside.
You said you been together a year. Within the first 6 months he was bailing. So to be real, he may not have been in it for the whole year such as you have. His talks with you about the future, while I don't know his actual words, may have surely been interesting to him, but either not enough to make sure it played out. Or on the flip side, too much for him to handle so quick cus he may just be someone who has confusion on a lot of aspects in his life.
Again, 6 months strong, a few months since, while never a jerk, he may never really been invested as you were.
Welcome to the group
ChiTown, I think he believed he was into it and I think he believed the things he was saying. But you're right, I think he had confusion about many aspects of his life and just couldn't sort himself out. That, or he wasn't telling me something. I don't know :(