Cat do you have a therapist, or a psychologist to talk too?. If so call them or make an emergency appt. No sleep and crying to dehydration is just as damaging to emotions as the pain that brought them on. You need external help to correct this bio part working against you right now.

Giving up on life is not going to help much, but changing your sights will. Learning what you care about that is unique and likeable about you helps. Then if someone leaves it's their loss or they are just too caught up in their own beliefs/needs to appreciate who you are. Either way in the long run they would have drained the parts of you that you like, to fill their wants.

Keep posting, because as bad as you are hurting this will help you find where you are strongest.

Support and hugs, I have had more than one relationship where I let myself change to fit them, only to find that what they wanted was what I was before the changes... I almost self destructed to please them and he world, no to hurt myself more. Long stories, but I am still here. So back to being me. Find the you that you like.

Catalina this is one of many many posts you've written both here and on the depression forum with the same subject line.

You need to see a doctor. Immediately.

You need to get some real help from a professional so you don't have to suffer like this

Then it will be easier for you to work through your losses.

There is no reason to suffer like this

okay thanks

Please seek immediate help. I and others have suggested the ER for immediate help or calling the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) and ongoing counseling.

We are all trying to just help you, but you have to help yourself. I have not experienced the same pain you are going through, but have experienced emotional and mental pain nonetheless. It sucks, it hurts and you just want to end it. But NO good comes from self-hurting or suicide. It is not worth it. Choose life, choose happiness, choose God.

I am sorry. Please go see a counselor and get some help. Praying for you

Counselors and doctors are not magicians. Other than medication that might help a bit, that's pretty much all they can offer. I'm as bad off as you are -- I get it totally. The two of us are in the identical boat.
Killing yourself is not the answer. How do you know if where you're going is better than here? It could be worse for all you know. We'd probably screw it up anyway and end up like vegetables. I know things will improve. It has to, how can it get any worse?
The two of us put such a powerful premium on being in love. Its like a totemic idol that has incredible, overwhelming power. Is it the acceptance? Is it the affirmation? Is it because we finally understand what Lionel Richie has been talking about all these years?
In my view, our biggest worry is to figure out why we invest relationships and love with such immense power that we're seemingly useless without them.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

I don't know if this helps or not, I hope. I've been narcissistically abused (unknowingly) and flirted/cheated on those years,MANY! and also abused by my own father, when I was small-plus MANY health problems; And I want to live more than ever!
Not trying to make you feel bad-just 'trying to say
Please know that YOU are a child of God and you are loved more than you know.
Having just joined, I don't know your situation, but I'm CERTAIN that there is no thing or person worth taking your precious life.
Counselors can help-I've been once, so far, and am going to go weekly-expensive, but necessary, at least for a bit; if you find the 'right' one for you.
And you can.