Hi,

Oh, for sure! She has goals to meet and she has to have time to think. And I understand how you feel the "ball and chains" effect. When I was dating, and coming off an old relationship, I really didn't know what I was going to do later on. And it's so easy to feel like "Bozo the Clown," big shoes, wild hair, and that dumb smile on the face; all too crazy! :-) Yet, I have a sense that she is very honest with you. Just give it some time. And I know that you will still check your face for zits and all, looking for a good reason that she should leave you *smile*; (you are fine!) although it's not really you that she's backing away from. We girls are somewhat fickle at times, and we need space after a difficult breakup, and especially where she is making college plans (+ a new job!); she deserves to have a good amount of time to think things through.

What should make you happy is that she is an honest person and she is trying not to make a fool out of herself anymore. You can understand that and you have to respect her honesty. But wait for a while. Let her listen to her own mind for a few moments. Tomorrow will be better. Not perfect but better. All good things will come at the proper time.

Thinking good thoughts for you,

Remiah <3

I know how you feel

The fact that she was honest with you ,I think ,speaks volumes.

When she said she's felt distant is most likely because with all that she is facing right now (2nd job, more school and a definite goal to get her masters) she was probably feeling she (didn't and )wasn't really able to focus more attention on your relationship.

While it may be hard for you right now, you should know it is not anything you did.....nor are you a "ball and chain" It is far better for you to have a relationship with someone who has taken the time to "work on themselves', has their head on straight and knows what they want and are comfortable with all they do now have to give to another.

this may be a good time for you to examine what you want in a relationship as well. I do wish you well

Since we broke up, I myself, accepted a new job tonprevent from feeling stuck, as she said she felt. I had to prove I could put myself in an uncomfortable new environment. I have also gone to the college and spoke with advisors on starting back up in the fall. In addition to starting to gather info for a unforseen career, even though it's been stairing me in the face. With her gone now I am tryin to push myself to find goals and achieve them for myself. I can never fight for her if I dont fight for myself. That has become my mantra. It all sounds so positive, despite coming home to my home alone immediately brings me to tears and can't go more than 5 seconds without a thought/ concern/ memory/ worry I have never known such a pain can exist.

GLA55...Good luck with your new job and college plans; staying busy this way will help ease your feeling. Takes a lot of courage to make the same changes as gf; shows how logical you both are. Glad to know that you are opening up to new ideas. Nice mantra "fight!" And constant thoughts usually have a purpose in the heart. Deep thinking moves to further processing those positive ideas and plans. I feel your hurt and I understand the tears; the good is that tears increases those calming hormones. Yet the sensation of pain and worrying are extremely annoying. Everyone goes through what you are trying to cope with. I think that we do so that we may feel closer to each other.

If this continues to bring you sadness and worry, it may become to separate you from enjoying life. Hopefully, you will find new friends to distract you, at least until you & gf are chatting again. Try really hard to focus on past good times. Keep in mind that the future may be much brighter for you! I'm hoping so!

GLA55PA55ENGER, unless there is something else you haven’t said, I’m hopeful and I think if you want this relationship to have any hope whatsoever, get your anxiety and depression under control, and DO NOT put pressure on her. Keep the communication alive, don’t pressure her to work on you two, ask her if there’s something you can do to help her, send her encouragement and let her know you are open to a future, but understand her needs as well.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, this is a tall order and it won’t be easy by any stretch of the imagination! However, it can be done, use this as your opportunity to collect yourself and take responsibility for your mistakes, but please do not take on what you don’t deserve! What do you think, is this possible?