Here's a breakup poem I wrote and gave to my ex when he was dropping off my stuff. He did not like it one bit, but I got a lot off things off my chest with it. Hope it entertains you. it helps me to share it.


Just Couldnt Build Your White Picket Fences

I.
As Im waiting for you to drop off my stuff.
This Monday
After the funnest weekend ever
Without you.

I think about what I want to say to you
And it goes a little something like this.

I wish you the best.
Youre a good person.
You tried.
I did too
It wasnt enough.

You dont approve of:
My religion: Wicca
My disability: Schizoaffective, anxiety and PTSD
The financial arrangement of my income
My mental illness
My body, beautiful as it is and as much as you enjoyed fucking it
My teeth stained as they are by tea and weed
My smeared makeup
My posture
How often I go to the gym
When I let my hair go grey
When I had hair extensions
When I had acrylic nails with nail art
How much weed I have to smoke to stay healthy.

You dont approve
Of so many things
About me
That it makes me wonder
Why
You want me back.

I think you want me back
Because you want to change me
into the women you want
You want someone else.
I am setting you free to find her.


II.
I dissolved the love spell that bound you to me.
I put a spell on you
Because
Youre mine.

I put many spells on you
Over the years.

The other morning in meditation
I dissolved the last one
You are free now.

Bruja traviesa
Buena bruja
Oh Catholic boy,
Youre in over your head.

Your intolerance of my religion
When I was always understanding about yours
When your people
Burned my people
At the stake
Tells me its impossible.

That our breakup was sparked by me saying
I didnt want to see the Last Witch Hunter
And you saying
You did
Spoke volumes.

Our bloodlines
Are natural enemies
it can never be.


III.
You always thought I was yours.
I let you believe that.
After a point I was barely tolerating you.
I realized I couldnt pretend anymore.


IV.
As the Magic 8 Ball says:
All signs point to yes
That you stole my Klonopin
Im talking evidence not voodoo.

I could have died in withdrawals.
Or ended up in the hospital
Or had a seizure.

That you would throw my life away like that
Tells me I cant date you anymore.
Im not safe dating anyone
Who would steal my meds.


V.
My life and the failure of my first marriage
Has taught me that all relationships have a lifetime
The lifetime of this relationship is done.

Thank you for everything.
For the trips to Palm Springs
The presents
The steak dinners
The good sex
The movies
The vacation in Zion
We had a lot of good times.
You were a good transitional boyfriend.

Best boyfriend Ive had so far.
Best male sex Ive had to far.
But also my first sober boyfriend
And my first fluid bond
Which makes me wonder what the future holds.


VI.
I am only three years widowed now.

That you would have the nerve
To come into my home
And get angry because
A wedding photo of my wife was on the wall
Then try to get back together with me
On the anniversary of my wifes death
Is amazingly insensitive.

Of course I said no.

Do you not understand
I need time to grieve
I cannot even think
About getting married again
It is too soon.


VII.
Go back to match.com
Take women out to dinner
Until you find one who wants to marry you
And have kids with you

I can never make you happy
You would always take out on me
The destruction of your dreams.

Im unwilling to keep being your punching bag
I need to end the cycle of abuse.

I am often in abusive relationships.
With you the physical abuse was over
But the emotional abuse was rampant.
My therapist is sure of it,
As am I.


VIII.
The fact that I have been
So happy
Since we broke up
Tells me
That this is for the best.
Goodbye Lawrence.