Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ill introduce myself first, I'm a 17 year old male senior, this website was referred to me by the 741 line so I thought it'd give me a shot since I messaged them 2 or 3 times a day. Long story short.. I've been dating this girl over a bit over two years, she moved a bit into the relationship and we kept going a LDR. We've been pretty happy for sometime until around 2 months ago. I tried to break up with her last Wednesday but she wouldn't let me saying she'll give me everything and she'll change. This is the second time she's down this, first time was 8 months into the relationship. But this Saturday she posts this selfie of a guy on her snapchat story and she hasn't replied to me in a bit over 6 hours so I call her several times expecting the worst outcome.. And a a few hours later she calls me explaining to me what's happened and she's been with this guy since Tuesday, the day before I tried to break up with her. She said they "really hit it off" when she was at work. And they've kissed before I called her. She's promised me so many things and said she'd change a lot of stuff for me. And this breakup really brought me down so I've stopped eating, not getting any sleep, throwing up several times and having bad thoughts. I was hoping anyone on this site could give me there time to keep myself busy and keep me from thinking about her, love meeting new people. Thanks guys.
I am so glad you came to this forum. It's pretty common to feel the way you do when your heart is broken. It will pass in time. What I am concerned with though, especially because I am a mother, is when you say you are having "bad" thoughts. NO ONE is worth hurting yourself or any other person over. If these thoughts persist, please talk to your parents or some other trusted adult and get help. There might even be a counselor at school you can talk to. There is no shame in getting help when you need it. I think a lot of us on this board are getting counseling to help us through our divorces and break ups. I have been seeing a great therapist for several months now and she's made a huge difference in my life. The first few times I saw her though, I did nothing but sit in her office and cry. Now, I feel so much stronger and more confident.
I hate to give you the old "there are plenty of fish in the sea" speech, but it's true. There is a saying that I've discovered is also very true ... be thankful for unanswered prayers. When I was a little older than you, I was head over heels in love with someone who betrayed me and broke my heart. I felt like you ... sick, unable to stop crying, etc. That went on for months. Eventually I got over it, started dating again, got married, etc. About 20 years later, when Facebook took off, he found me and we started chatting. He hadn't changed a bit! His life was a mess from one bad choice after another. I was so thankful that I didn't end up with him though at the time, I would have cut my right arm off to be with him. I could see so clearly how miserable I would have been.
My advice to you is break it off with her for good. If she makes promises to change and begs you not to leave, just tell her you're sorry, but you have no interest in continuing the relationship and then mean it! Block her on social media and delete her contact info from your phone.