Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Breakup

Lulu01
Lulu01

Just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. He lived with me and after two months of him being wishy washy and texting me on Friday that it was too late to repair our relationship, I told him he had 30 minutes to get to the house and get his things, that I could not play house another day with him leaving everyday and making me feel like he was about to leave me for good. He came and moved his things and I rushed him the entire time. It was killing me to know he was over our relationship and I wasn’t. He left and I texted saying I was sorry I acted immediately but felt I had no choice and that I wished him well. Saturday I was rearranging my house trying to make things less evident he was gone, I came across a drawer full of his family photos. I texted to tell him I’d put them in a box on the porch and he could come by and get them and he blocked my number. I have no idea why he would do that, I would never text or harass him and he knows that. We’ve broken up once before but he didn’t live with me at that time. I feel like he was texting and exchanging pictures with someone else prior to me kicking him out but never could get the proof. I am very heartbroken and so are my children. They left for school on Friday and came home and the man they loved disappeared. I bought a plane ticket to surprise him that I was flying home with him for thanksgiving and was going to give it to him Friday when he came home from work. While he was moving his things, I showed him and he said why didn’t you tell me this and said he had texted me that it was too late based on his “right then that second” emotion. I feel awful but I could not accept that text from him after spending $1300 on a ticket and also for him being so wishy washy. I have done nothin but accepted his hours of playing video games, his arrogant personality and truly loved him for being him. I am having a hard time not knowing where he went or if he’s okay or if he even traveled home for Thanksgiving. He did not have a place to go and he didn’t have a sitter for his dog. His family lives across the United States and all of his friends are married and have traveled back to their home states for the holidays. Why do I feel so bad? I did what I had to do and now I feel awful. I keep going back and forth. One minute I tell myself he did this to himself and then I tell myself you’ve made a mistake. Help please. 

Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
I’d say right off he loved himself more than you, your children or even his dog could begin to replace that faultless love of self. Difficult to say on him blocking you but I would suspect he had something to hide from you. So I’d say your suspicions even without definitive proof are correct. Overall I’d say even though your second guessing your decision to say enough he’s proving you correct in doing so. Holidays and all they involve will have an empty place in your home now but just keep the thought that you didn’t do anything wrong. Sorry and remain strong.
Lulu01
Lulu01
Thank you! I think I did the right thing. As a woman, we always hope they live to regret the things such as this. I’ve learned a lot in the last few days and I know it’s going to be hard but I will be okay eventually and I will move on. Just hope he realizes he’s made big mistakes.
bridgie101
bridgie101
I think breakups need to be managed better than this tbh. Time to get belongings etc. He was unhappy, he issued a challenge, you immediately made a massive power move and now feel bad. Well, you were discourteous. And now his photos are left behind. I hope you have the manners to ship them to his family.
11Christmases
11Christmases
I think the way you ended things was much better than dragging it out. It could have gone on for months. I think I understand what you meant by the "wishy-washy" behavior. I was recently in a relationship where the guy was "wishy-washy" about his feelings, treating me like last on his list, and I also ended it pretty abruptly. Please don't second-guess yourself. Even if you two are meant to get back together someday, give yourself time to heal and get back into the things that make you happy first. I'm curious how you know he blocked you though? Did you receive some sort of notification?
Lulu01
Lulu01
Thank you! I really did what I had to do! I feel bad about him leaving things that I think he’d want but feel much better now that I have someone that’s giving them to him. I offered to help him pack, told him he could have anything in my house he wanted and I would call and get him a new place and he refused all of it. I have placed all of his things in a container and have given them to a close friend of his. He has pretty much made me miserable the last month or so while living in my house, not his, and playing house with my children while saying one day he loved me and then not even talking to me other days. I knew I was blocked when I tried texting him and it never was delivered, I tried calling, it went straight to voicemail which signals I’ve been blocked.
Lulu01
Lulu01
I will not contact him again. Moving on is the best thing for me to do no matter how much it hurts
movingon3
movingon3
Moving on does hurt in the short term. Years down the road you will be happy. Find a responsible guy who wants to spend time with you not on video games.
Lulu01
Lulu01
Thank you! He played for 8+ hours. I went to bed almost every night alone and would wake up and he would be playing. I’m sure that’s what he’s doing now wherever he may be, who knows!
jojored
jojored
My son does that, video games till 4 am. He still manages to go to school, get good grades, run cross country, have a part time job, see friends, and be 17! 17 is still all about me-me, and it is a world away from an adult with kids in the house. Here's to you finding a grownup next time around!
papelle
papelle
Sounds like maybe you both ended it on impulse and anger and had some regrets about the way it was done. He's probably blocked you because he's wanting some sort of revenge due to the way you treated him. I've temporarily blocked exes that didn't need to be blocked just to feel like I had some sort of power in a totally crappy and powerless situation. Now, that being said, it also sounds like, although the manner in which it was done could have been handled better by the both of you (his awful text and your 30 minutes to get out), the break-up needed to happen and is for the best in the end. Good luck to you :)
Lulu01
Lulu01
It’s been a week today since I’ve seen him or talked with him. One weeks and it seems like a lifetime! I gave him way more than 30 mins. He actually moved from around 11 to 4! I have no idea where he is or anything, which I guess is best. Yes, I could have handled it better, I agree, at the time I was hurt and devastated and just wanted it to be over as fast as possible. I’m sure I’m blocked because he is mad, hurt and doing it out of spite. I still feel I did what I had to do as far as ending it and. It dragging it out. I have no idea if I will ever see or hear from him again which is heartbreaking all by itself but I know everything happens for a reason and I have prayed for him every night and day and I hope that we both can recover and heal.
bluecoco100
bluecoco100
I feel like I can relate to this a little, except I don't have children. My ex still lives at my house. He hasn't found a place yet so it's been hard. I decided to retreat to my parents house to get my head cleared. He is also arrogant, an asshole, etc. I decided to leave because every weekend, he would be out so late Friday nights and it would give me extreme anxiety because I didn't know where he was and my mind was a mess. I had to separate from the situation because I wasn't healing properly. It still bothers me that I didn't know where he went, who he was with, and what he did. Anyways, I'm learning to let it go.. It's hard, but I'm trying.
Lulu01
Lulu01
It is very very hard! I could no longer play house another minute. After 2 years he should know if he wants to be with me or not and going back and forth was depriving me of peace. I couldn’t concentrate at work and felt like I was on edge the entire time, at work and at home! It’s been very hard but I’ve gone a week and one day and haven’t heard from him. It’s so very hard but I did what I had to do and deep down I think I made the right decision. I was fighting to hang on and fighting to let go, I finally let go! What’s meant for me will find it’s way! I’m praying for you! I’m hurt, angry and disappointed but I also know that I’d rather worry and be sad alone then to feel the same way with someone there with me!
meigemann
meigemann
I am so sorry that your are going through this I know how difficult this is. You are really the only one that knows if you made the right decision or not but from the information you've given us it sounds like you may have made the right choice for yourself. It is always so hard when there are kids involved because they don't usually understand the dynamics involved in a breakup. I hope that you and your kiddos had a blessed thanksgiving and I'll be praying that you would receive clarity.
Lulu01
Lulu01
Thank you very much! It is very hard dealing with my own emotions as it is, throw in theirs and it takes things to a whole new level. We are making it. Everyday has been hard but we’ve made it a week without him as of yesterday. I pray everyday to get stronger. It’s crazy how someone can be in your life everyday for 2 years and then just gone! Things are hard right now but I don’t think they will always be this way.